Talk To Me
by FugiriKun
Summary: Hachimenroppi/Tsukishima; slight Tsugaru/Psyche; Roppi, a highschool teacher, is put in charge of a new student. Ugh, why won't this kid say anything?
1. Chapter 1

**_This is my first time uploading to FFnet. I find this rather complicated (is it just me?). _**

**_This was originally a request for the kinkmeme. Here's the request:_**

****Hachimenroppi/Tsukishima**- Teacher/Student relationship, one partner being mute  
>Tsuki transfers to the high school Roppi teaches at during the middle of the year; Roppi is asked by the principal to look after him-he finds it annoying at first that he has to do this and it irritates him that Tsuki doesn't talk to him, until he realizes that Tsuki is actually mute.<strong>

_**Yeah. So um... Enjoy? ^^**_

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><p>"Roppi-san."<p>

I look up at the sound of someone speaking my name. It's that one gym teacher. Tsuppari, I think his name was. He's leaning against the doorframe of the teacher's lounge where I had been trying to enjoy my lunch break- as much as I could enjoy anything at this hellhole of a school surrounded by annoying brats- and waves his hand in a gesture for me to come towards him.

I glare at him for a few moments, hoping that my hostility will send him away so I can eat my lunch in peace- it's just a sandwich I had made in a hurry this morning, but it's my nourishment dammit. "Roppi-san, Principal Kamura would like to see you." Apparently, some alone time was too much to ask for.

I wave the man away, "I'm coming."

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><p>"Good afternoon, Hachimenroppi-sensei." Principal Kamura greets me as I enter his office.<p>

I scowl at him, "Sir. I have a class to teach in 10 minutes." This is when I notice the other man in the room. He sits across from my boss, so I assume he's a parent. I can't remember writing any infractions recently- not because my students are well behaved, but because I don't feel like dealing with their disgruntled guardians- so I can't imagine why I have been summoned to presumably talk to this visitor.

Principal Kamura stands and holds out a hand towards the man. "This is Heiwajima Tsugaru-san. He will be enrolling his ward in our school starting tomorrow."

Heiwajima-san rises from his seat and reaches a hand towards me. I had been standing at the door to the principal's office in hopes that I would be able to sneak away quickly so I had to take a few steps forward to take the offered handshake.

"It's a pleasure," the man says in a deep, soothing voice. He was quite attractive. Tall, blond, and broad shouldered with mesmorizing electric blue eyes. Firm handshake, too.

Principal Kamura interrupted my observations by putting a hand on my shoulder, which was gross because the guy had clammy, pudgy hands with sausage-like fingers. It made me cringe. "So, Hachimenroppi-sensei will be the one to take your Tsukishima under his wing, Heiwajima-san."

This was news to me. "I'm doing what now?"

Kamura ignored me and instead slipped a thick manila envelope into my hands. I stared at it and wondered what was inside. I didn't want to open it, because that might be what sealed my fate. Opening it and gaining whatever knowledge was inside might be the thing that kept me from wriggling out this situation. One of those 'you know so either you do what you're told or we'll kill you' things. That could happen. Or not. Probably not. But I still didn't want to open the envelope.

Heiwajima-san interrupted my suspicious thoughts, "I'm enrolling my cousin, Tsukishima, in this school tomorrow. He is a bit special and Principal Kamura has chosen you to be his mentor. He says you're the best of the best."

I turned my gaze to the principal after hearing the bold ass lie he had told this poor man. Best of the best? I hate all of my students. Why would I make a good mentor?

Kamura seemed to realize that I was annoyed- well, more so than usual- because he began ushering Heiwajima-san out of his office. "So Heiwajima-san, don't you worry! Hachimenroppi-sensei will definitely bring Tsukishima-kun out of his shell. Have a nice day!"

When the principal reentered the office I decided to take a seat where that Heiwajima guy had been sitting. Without saying a word Kamura sat across from me, behind his desk. I stared at him, waiting for an explanation. He stared at me back. We stared at each other for a long while.

But when it comes to staring contests I cannot be beaten.

Kamura gave in eventually, "Look, Roppi-san. I-"

"I refuse." I deadpanned immediately.

"You can't refuse," the other man insisted. "It's already been decided. All I need is for you to look out for the kid. Just read his files and keep him from getting killed."

"I don't want to." I insisted. As if anyone ever listened to me.

"You have to. It won't be too bad. Good luck."

That was obviously a dismissal, but I took to glaring at my boss for a little while longer to make him change his mind. It proved ineffective.

"Fine, but I'm not teaching next period."

"That's fine. You have the rest of the day off." I could hear the smile in the principal's voice. He knew he'd won.

Looking through this Tsukishima kid's file. It was quite depressing. It didn't tell me anything personal about him but as far as I could see his life sucked.

The first page looked something like this:

_Name: Heiwajima Tsukishima_

_Age: 15_

_DOB: April 19, 1996_

_Birthplace: Hokkaido University Hospital _

_Parents: Mother deceased. Father awaiting trial._

_[If not same as above] Guardian(s): Heiwajima Tsugaru _

_Allergies: Salmon, Peanuts, Bananas, Apples, Mangos_

_Physical Ailments: Asthma, Epilepsy, Anterograde Amnesia_

_Psychological Ailments: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (resulting in symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Depersonalization Disorder (when under stress)_

After that were about 20 to 25 pages of notes on the extent of the boy's psychological condition, each page signed at the bottom by a psychologist. The last page was an extensive list of words that seemingly had no meaning. At the top of the page, written in large letters, was the word 'PHOBIAS'.

Obviously, I would have to Google all the ridiculous terms that night.

Some of the words were highlighted, which meant they must invoke the most violent response from the kid. I read over those to start with. 'Claustrophobia'. I knew that one. There was also 'Eisoptrophobia' and 'Achluophobia'. I'd look those up first.

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><p>That night I pored over everything I had been given. It was actually quite interesting. Like a novel.<p>

Now that I had seen all that was wrong with the kid, I was kind of curious about him.

All of the psychologists- there were several- that had observed and analyzed the boy had alluded to him being shy and reserved normally, but exceedingly violent and cold when faced with certain triggers. But nothing had stated how such behavior had come about.

I was actually a bit excited to meet him.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2 yay!_**

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><p>By the time I woke up the next morning, my excitement had died down exponentially.<p>

Why would I want to meet and spend my valuable time with a mental disturbed teenager? I wouldn't, that's why.

This was nothing more than a roadblock in the peaceful life I wanted to have. A peaceful life where I wasn't a high school teacher. Where I didn't have to deal with annoying brats- who loved me for my 'no bullshit' policy, damn them- day in and day out. A peaceful life that didn't include an annoying chubby principal and an annoying gym teacher who flirted with me every chance he got- he's really bad at it, but I notice, damn him. If I could I would be a hermit on an island where no one could ever bother me. But I'm a creature that belongs in civilization; if only I didn't have to interact with the _other_ people in it. Those damn humans. Filthy creatures that cared nothing about anything besides themselves. Even the fact that I was one of them couldn't reconcile their horrid nature. My horrid nature.

So the very idea that I would be interested- forget_ excited_- to meet some crazy kid who was, and I quote, 'deeply disturbed with the capacity to become exceedingly violent when backed into an undesired situation' was ridiculous. I absolutely despise humans. So I'm positive, positive, _positive_ that I will hate, hate, _hate _this Tsukishima kid as well.

As I bitched in my head- yes, I know I'm bitching, that won't stop me from doing it- I quickly got dressed in a white button up shirt and some black slacks. I threw a red and black striped around my neck, intending to tie it on my way to the school.

I groused all the way there. My tie ended up sloppy due to my lack of attention for it. I grumped about that, too. I'm not gonna lie; I do feel satisfied after a good complaining session.

When I entered the halls, I'm confronted with the most annoying sight ever. Large groups of girls- and blatantly homosexual boys- gathered closely. They were not quite whispering. I could clearly hear the gossip about the tall, blond new kid with gorgeous eyes. I absently wondered if they were blue like that Tsugaru guy.

I maneuvered around them and headed towards the principal's office to meet the new bane of my existence. I passed by the principal's secretary without a sideways glance and she didn't attempt to stop me. She was one of the few people that worked at this place that I could tolerate. She didn't bother with unnecessary things.

The door to the Principal Kamura's office was open, so I went in without knocking.

Ah. So there he was.

He was indeed tall and blond. Not as broad as his cousin, but well built in a lean sort of way. He was dressed in the school's uniform which was a navy blue jacket over a white blouse along with navy blue slacks. The black tie he was wearing was obscured by the thick cream-colored scarf that was wrapped twice around his neck like a nest for his head. Were they really going to allow him to wear that? Apparently so since it had yet to be confiscated.

And then there were his eyes.

Wait... A second. _Damn him._

My eyes!

He stole them! The blood red eyes that had, until now, been unique to my family had been stolen by this brat. The only other people I had known to have piercing red eyes like mine were my three cousins. And now... _This guy_...

How dare he?

My uniqueness! Where has it gone?

While my inner monologue was going on, Kamura was introducing me to this Heiwajima Tsukishima.

"Hachimenroppi-sensei?"

And apparently he had been talking to me too.

"Huh? What?" I didn't even bother pretending I was listening.

"You'll keep in contact with Tsukishima, right?" Kamura put a hand on the boy's shoulder, which caused the blonde's arm to go limp in attempt to shake the plump man off.

This caught my attention. I could see the shyness in the way the tall boy held himself. His scarf was pulled up so that it covered half his face. I couldn't see anything lower than his nose. He was looking demurely over the scarf at me. Kamura was standing extremely close to the boy and the blond was obviously uncomfortable. Every time the 15-year-old edged away from the principal, said man moved a step closer. The annoying bastard.

I ignored Kamura and took a step towards the boy. He looked like he wanted to take a step back. I held out my hand to him, "My name is Orihara Hachimenroppi, but you can call me Roppi-san."

The boy hesitated for a long moment before taking my hand and shaking it. He gave a nod.

I don't know what I had been expecting, but I found myself disappointed. Maybe I had wanted him to shyly test out my name and smile. Then we would have a flowery bromance and ride off into the sunset- after a few trials, tribulations, and misunderstandings, of course- like some Bacon Lettuce manga. I always had wanted to be a careless manga character. But it was not to be.

I realized I had been holding Tsukishima's hand for a full five minutes when I felt him trying desperately to free himself. I let go of him not a moment later and his momentum sent him a few steps back.

Principal Kamura interrupted our awkward moment by placing his hand on my shoulder- I wish he wouldn't; he does it all the time and his hands are gross, which bothers me- and holding a sheet of paper out towards me. "Hachimenroppi-sensei will take you to your classes, Tsukishima-kun." He gave me a shove towards the door, "Have fun, you two!"


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3~ (E_****_dited: I didn't even give him Physics,I gave him Biology. What the Heck?)_**

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><p>The two of us must have been really interesting.<p>

Every student in the hallway with us stared- more at him than me, I'm sure- as I walked the new student to his first class. His schedule was painful. Not only was he in my Japanese Language class, but he was also in my Homeroom along with my English class. I was gonna see this little bastard. All. Day. _Long_.

The kid was physically unable to perform in gym due to asthma and general frailty- I remembered this from his file- which meant he had a free period. But no. They couldn't just give him study hall. They gave him Teacher Assisting. That's another period in my class.

The other classes he had were Homemaking- an easy A+ because no one bothered to hire a decent Home Economics teacher- Social Studies, Calculus- impressive for a first year- and Chemistry. Apparently, I was supposed to have a chat with each of those teachers to make sure they went easy on the kid. Why did they bother putting him in public school if they were gonna give him special treatment? It seemed counter-productive.

Tsukishima followed me down the hallway without so much as a word. When we reached my classroom, I unlocked the door and moved to the side to allow him to enter. There had been a small crowd of students waiting for me to show up. They had been lolly-gagging the way children do before the school day starts but immediately perked up when they saw the new kid was going to be in their class.

Well they had another thing coming, "Alright, have a seat everyone."

They all groaned. I could tell they wanted to hammer the boy with questions. They took their seats and I led the blond to a seat in the front of the class right in front of my desk, "Sit here."

I tapped the desk and he did as he was told without a word. He set his bag on the floor and looked timidly up at me- I was still standing. His shy eyes made a silent plea. _Please don't make me stand and address these monsters._

And no, I did not find that look cute.

I gave into his wishes though, "Alright class. This is our new student, Heiwajima Tsukishima." I gestured to the red-eyed boy. I could hear some faint whispering in the back of the room_. Heiwajima? That sounds familiar. _Whatever. "Please be kind to him. Do not bother him and assist him in any way you can."

After that I took roll. Then, Homeroom ended.

Other than the new addition to the classes, the day went relatively normally. I talked to Tsukishima's teachers and avoided the boys red gaze when he was in my classroom. There was no issue. No hijinks.

Of course, at the end of the day as I was telling the last of my students to get the hell out of my face, Principal Kamura waddled into my classroom- fat, bastard- and absolutely insisted that I walk Tsukishima home.

Right. Because I'm_ totally_ his babysitter.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Chapter 4!_**

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><p>The walk to the Heiwajima residence was just one extended awkward moment.<p>

Usually, silence didn't bother me. I wasn't the kind of person that needed to talk _all the time_.

But it seemed whatever awkward turtle weirdness Tsukishima was harboring in his tall body of his was seeping into me. The blond walked with his shoulders hunched and his nose buried in his scarf. He watched the ground intently- I could tell that he was merely refraining from looking at _me_ though.

I could feel the way my body reflected his closed in stance. How my eyes naturally drifted away from him. I had been big on Behavioral Science in university.

I wasn't one to let my human nature get the better of me, "Look, Tsukishima." I startled him. I could tell be the way he flinched away from me. "Sorry. But you don't have to be afraid of me. I'm your mentor." _We're stuck together, whether we want to be or not_, I wanted to add, but it seemed just a bit inappropriate.

Tsukishima stared at me wide-eyed for a moment before his shoulders visibly relaxed and his chin, which had been pressed tensely to his chest, raised. Now instead of only being able to see the boy's nose, I could see the corners of his mouth. He lifted his hand and pressed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Huh. How had I not noticed that he was wearing glass? Must have been too busy taking in the fact that he stole my eye color. Even so, the words _megane_ and _moe_ flitted through my brain. Damn him.

_No. Bad, Roppi. He is not cute. He is too tall to be cute._

But still, there was something about the blonde's timidness that was sort of endearing. His personality seemed more suited to a body that was short with mousy brown hair and plain brown eyes. This person was a lamb in a lion's body. No, a librarian in a supermodel's body.

Well that was just not fair. Stupid, attractive brat.

"Let's just keep walking." Tsukishima hadn't said a word even after my reassurance. He just gave me a deer-in-the-headlights face, despite the fact that he was more relaxed.

We made it to his apartment complex in complete silence. The red-eyed boy obediently followed me into the elevator and pressed the correct button. Silence. The elevator opened with a ding on the 4th floor, so we exited and headed down the hallway to apartment 4E. I glanced over at him, but he was looking away from me shyly. This made me rolled my eyes and knock on the door.

My fist only hit the wood once before the door swung open. I was expected to be greeted with calm blue eyes, but was instead faced with worried pink.

"Tsuki! You're home!"

The red-eyed blond was pulled into a domineering embrace by another blond. Tsukishima flailed at the sudden touch, but eventually accepted the hug, albeit reluctantly.

This new blond looked exactly like the blond he had met the other day except for his pink eyes. He wore an obnoxious white suit with a pink and black pinstriped shirt underneath. Usually, I would sneer at such fashions, but I couldn't be bothered when the man showed so much concern for Tsukishima.

It was a while before the pink-eyed man released my student. Then he turned his gaze to me. And _smirked_, "Ah. So you must be the Hachimenroppi-sensei I was told about." His voice had morphed from worried to smooth and suave. Well, damn him too. "I'm Heiwajima Delic."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Ohonhon~ Chapter 5**_

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><p>I hate them.<p>

All of these attractive Heiwajima boys. Damn them all to hell.

But especially this one. Delic.

He advances on me as if he's spied his next meal. And maybe he thinks he has, but I'm not easy nor am I a slut.

I back away from him as he gets closer to me until my backs against the wall. Literally. He puts his hands on either side of my head and leans in close. Over his shoulder, I can see a wide-eyed Tsukishima who looked like he was about to have an asthma attack. Which, now that I think about it, was very much possible.

Then like an angel from heaven and soothing voice rang down upon us, "That's enough Delic."

And there was that Tsugaru guy, dressed in a blue and white yukata- people wear those in public these days?- carrying three bags of, what I'll assume was, groceries.

At the sound of the blue-eyed Heiwajima's voice, Delic backed off with a frown. Tsugaru walked past him and the still frozen Tsukishima and went into apartment 4E. He made a 'come along' waving gesture so all three of us followed him inside.

I saw his blue and white outfit disappear around a corner and guessed he was putting the bags he had been holding away. Tsukishima stood awkwardly next to me and Delic wandered into a bedroom, "So," I prompted, "Are you going to offer me a seat?"

He looked surprised a that before nodding vigorously. He held is arm out to the couch on the other side of the room silently. This made me roll my eyes. No 'have a seat' or 'would you like a drink?' This punk.

I took my shoes of at the door and went to go sit on the couch. It was pressed against a tall glass window so that the couch was bathed in light. Tsukishima held his hand out to me again, this time offering me the remote to the TV to my right. I waved him away and merely observed.

Tsukishima didn't sit next to me. Instead he perched on the arm of the other side of the couch. It was the only part that wasn't in the sun. How symbolic, no?

The apartment was modest yet at the same time held a spaciousness that bespoke of someone that made a very decent living.

Tsugaru entered the living room where Tsukishima and I were seated carrying a tray with a tea kettle and three cups. "Would you like some tea, Hachimenroppi-sensei?" He had already poured a cup for Tsukishima who carefully took it from him. The red-eyed boy pulled his scarf down- so that it was where it was supposed to be; around his_ neck_- so that he could blow on the hot liquid. I finally got a look at his mouth.

Well. His lips sure were... _plush_. Damn him.

I had to force myself to turn my attention back to Tsugaru, "Yes, please."

He poured me a cup and handed it to me, "I'm sorry about Delic. He gets a bit carried away sometimes. So how was Tsuki's first day?"

I was tempted to tell him to ask the kid himself. But that would've been rude. So I told Tsugaru all about the boring day we had. By the end of the exceedingly dull story, the blue-eyed man was looking pleased. "Well I'm glad there were no incidents. Thank you for agreeing to look after him."

_Who said I'd agreed?_ I wanted to say.

After the impromptu parent-teacher conference, I announced that I must take my leave.

The entire way home I was focused on forgetting the Heiwajimas. At least until tomorrow. Those guys are so weird. _I'm thinking about them_. _Bad, Roppi._

Most of all, I was intent on forgetting Tsukishima. His red eyes and shy face. His timidness and his silence. His lips. _Woah. Halt. Do not think that._

That was when I decided that if I was going to forget them, I was gonna have to stop thinking. And for an intelligent being such as myself, such a feat is impossible. Damn me.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thank you guys for all the nice comments ^.^**_

_**And on the subject of Tsuki and Roppi's personas: Tsukishima is supposed to be shy, clumsy, and forgetful. Hachimenroppi is supposed to be cynical and he hate's humans; also, I sometimes see him portrayed as suicidal.**_

_**I think you can find information about them on RukawaGF's page.**_

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><p><em><em>The next morning I woke up early.

It wasn't one of those 'I've had enough sleep so I feel so refreshed and- oh are those birds singing~?' kind of early wake ups. I felt like a steaming pile of dog feces. In the rain.

When I opened my eyes it was still dark outside and I was feeling sticky. From sweat. Not a wet dream. Pervert.

My alarm clock hadn't gone off and it said in bright red numbers '5:00'. School doesn't start until 8. What the hell am I supposed to do until then?

I force myself out of bed and go to the bathroom. I set my shower running and brush my teeth while I wait for the water to turn lukewarm- a nice, moderate temperature; anything more or less is obnoxious. I have my shower and go to the kitchen to make breakfast, which is merely a slice of toast with jam on it. After that I go and get dressed and rub some moisturizer onto my face- baby smooth skin takes work.

This whole process takes about an hour, so by the time all of this is done it is only 6:00 and the sun is just barely beginning to consider rising for the day.

_Well, I'm not gonna just sit around here._

I decide to head to school early. If it's not open, I have keys- plus, I'm fairly competent at lock-picking. As I begin the journey to my place of work, I begin thinking about... well, you-know-who_. I was supposed to take him home from school, am I supposed to pick him up too? Wait! What the hell? That's not my job. He can take the bus if he's too stupid to make it on his own._

Completely satisfied with that line of thinking, I continue on my way.

When I reach the school- and find it actually open already. Who knew?- I head straight to the teachers' lounge, possibly to grab a soda.

Of course, things never go easily when I'm involved, so when I open the door to the lounge, I am bombarded with two balls of energy. One blond. One brunette.

"Roppi-nii-san! You're early! You're never early!" Chirped the brunette, who happened to also be my cousin, Psyche.

The blond took this moment to grope at my waist, "Oh~ Roppi-san, what a treat it is to see you so early in the morn. My day has been made."

"Linda. Have I told you yet today how much I hate you?" I deadpanned.

The blond, Kida Linda, giggled and let go of me, "Roppi-san~ No need to play hard to get."

I growled at him, "Linda-kun. No need to play hard to kill."

Linda giggled again- louder this time- before flitting off to do whatever it was he did in the morning. That guy is the math teacher and also one of the many banes of my existence that work at this school. He's an annoying twerp- a complete and utter fool- but at the same time a math genius. I'm convinced he's got Savant Syndrome.

"Nii-san. Why are you here?" Psyche asks, regaining my attention. He then giggled, "Did you come to see me?"

I tried not to scoff- too loudly- and frowned at him, "Listen here, doppelganger. I could live my entire life without seeing you and be perfectly fine."

Psyche looks exactly like me- but more childish, I like to think- so when he pouts, it feels like I'm looking into some wacked out mirror. His pout melts into his usual expression- a serene smile- quickly, though. "Where is Tsukishima? I thought you were supposed to watch him."

"I wasn't told to pick him up from his house. So I didn't." I stated matter-of-factly.

Psyche frowned. "Well you should've called and checked with him."

"I don't have his phone number," I replied_, and, also, he doesn't talk to me._

"Why not?"

"I didn't ask."

Now, Psyche was annoyed. "Roppi. You need to take responsibility."

"I didn't ask for this responsibility." I glared at him. He glared back at me. But- and I believe I said this before- _no one_ can beat me in a staring contest. Psyche closed his eyes for a moment and sighed.

"Roppi. I read through Tsukishima's file. As his appointed mentor, you need to give him the attention and guidance he desperately needs."

I'm not surprised that he read the boys file. Psyche is the school's Guidance Counselor. He's got a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. So for as dumb as he is, he's a pretty smart guy. I'll admit that. But I didn't quite understand what he was getting at. Tsukishima needed support, I'm sure, but he had Tsugaru and Delic for that. Why am I even necessary?

Psyche smile gently, "And maybe helping Tsuki-kun will help you with your self-esteem issues."

That caught me off guard. I sputtered and swatted at him, but he danced out of my reach before leaving. Damn him.

Psyche is convinced that my hatred of all mammals that could speak stemmed from my low self-esteem which is a result of my abandonment issues. Now, I do not have abandonment issues, but according to Psyche the tense divorce of my parents and the fact that the two of them fought who got to _not_ keep me had a dismal effect on my mental state. Go figure.

I left the teacher's lounge. I didn't even want a soda anymore; I just wanted to be in my office _alone_ until school started. By the time I got there and sat in my spinney chair it was 6:45. I tilted my head back, prepared to just wait until the time passed.

I didn't notice I had fallen asleep until there was a knock at the door.

I got up groggily and opened it.

Who else would be standing there besides a confused looking Tsukishima gripping the paper his schedule was printed on?


	7. Chapter 7

**_Aha. I feel like I should put something here. Well..._**

**_Enjoy~_**

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><p>Tsukishima looked sheepishly down at me and held out his schedule.<p>

I glared at him, then the schedule, then back at him. "What do you want me to do with that?"

He shrugged and looked down at his shoes.

"Did you forget where you classes are?" I inquired.

He looked at me again and then nodded sadly. I rolled my eyes and look over the clock. 7:45.

I needed to get to class anyway. I shook my head and grabbed his hand. He flinched when I touched him, but let me hold it. I began dragging him down the hallway towards my classroom.

I was more than a little angry that I could think of nothing besides how warm and soft his hands were.

When we reached my classroom, I unlocked my door and let all of my students in. The day went by normally, aside from the fact that I had to cart Tsukishima around to his classes. Again.

It wasn't until lunch break- Tsukishima decided that he was gonna eat with me too; the parasite- that I realized that the fact that he couldn't remember the rooms he had been in just yesterday may have something to do with his amnesia.

"Hey."

Tsukishima looked up from the package of melon bread he was in the middle of opening and gave me a doe-eyed stare.

"What do you remember about yesterday?"

His face reddened and he pointed a finger at me. I was tempted to remind him about the rudeness of pointing, but I held back.

"Are you protesting something?"

He looked surprised and tilted his head like a confused puppy.

"You don't talk. Is this a 'until those starving kids in Africa get a voice, I won't speak either' kind of thing?"

The confusion on his face didn't dissipate, but he shrugged and took a bit into his bread. He began nibbling slowly at it. Like a bunny. But not as cute. Never as cute.

I decided not to give up on conversation, "Do you remember anything about your classes yesterday?"

His red-eyes met mine mid-nibble. He nodded.

"Do you remember homeroom?"

He nodded.

"My English class?"

Nod.

"Math class?"

He looked like he was about the nod, but then changed his mind and shook his head 'no'.

"Hmm... My Japanese class?"

He nodded again.

I narrowed my eyes at him. I could see exactly where this is going.

"Science?"

Shake.

"Teacher Assisting with me."

Nod.

"So you want me to believe you remember all of my classes, but none of the other ones." It was laughable really. And since when do memories work that way?

He nods his head once more.

I wouldn't let him win this. "If you remember my classes, why couldn't you find it this morning?"

He shrugged and shook his head.

I wanted answers, but it looked like I was going to have to pursue this later. I turned my attention to my own lunch and ignored the red-eyed boy to the best of my ability.

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><p>That afternoon, as I walked the red-eyed teen home, I asked for his phone number- not because I wanted to chat with him; just because I wanted Psyche off my back. But of course, nothing is ever easy when it comes to this kid.<p>

"What's your cell number?"

Tsukishima turned his head toward me and gave me that characteristic blank look of his.

I was getting exasperated, "You know, cell phone? Like a telephone, but mobile."

He stared for a moment before shaking his blond head.

"I can't have it?"

He waved his arms frantically and shook his head in a way that said I had the wrong idea.

I couldn't help but sigh dramatically, "Are you telling me you don't have one? How old are you again?"

His face flushed and he began watching his feet as we walked.

I could see the wheels turn in his head as we made it to his apartment door. He pulled a key out of his pocket and opened it, gesturing for me to follow him inside. I decided to humor him and went in.

He left the living room and came back a few minutes later with a sheet of paper in his hand. He handed the paper to me and on it was written, 'Tsugaru-nii-san' followed by a phone number.

I glanced at the paper, "You're gonna use his phone? Are you allowed to?"

He nodded enthusiastically before gesturing towards his kitchen.

"No, I don't want anything. I need to get going."

And with that, I left.

* * *

><p>That night, I stared at the phone number for a long while. I wondered who would answer if I called at the moment: Tsugaru or Tsukishima.<p>

I stroked the numbers gently before realizing how I was acting. When the hell did I turn into a teenage girl?

Contemplating this, I allowed my brows to furrow.

_The most I could ever feel for that boy is brotherly affection. And I'm not an affectionate guy. This whatever-I'm-feeling is probably just my reaction to something new. Yes. That's it._

With that settled in my mind, I placed the numbered paper on my nightstand. It was strange. I couldn't stop staring at it. I could hardly contain myself. I fought the urge to grab my cell and dial until I managed to drift to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

_***witty comment***_

_**Enjoy~**_

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><p>I didn't call until that weekend.<p>

After spending three more days with the silent Tsukishima, I needed to talk to him. Hear his voice maybe- I was just curious as to what he would sound like, of course.

It was Friday night at 21:00. I dialed that number and held my red cell phone to my ear. I could feel my heart pound in my chest at each ring- from anticipation and not because I wanted to talk to that boy, I assure you.

And, okay, I'll admit I was more than a little bit disappointed when the ringing stop and the soothing voice of Heiwajima Tsugaru advised me to leave a message.

With the wind taken out of my sails, I tossed my cell to the side and flopped backwards onto my bed. I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to take me- that calling business had been stressful, I deserved a nap.

I was almost there too, but my cellphone decided to buzz. It wasn't the long buzz of a phone call, but the short single buzzed that warned me of a text message or voicemail.

_Probably just Psyche trying to harass me_, I reasoned and closed my eyes again. That lasted for all of two seconds before I shot up and frantically groped for the phone. Because what if it wasn't Psyche? What if it's-

I stared at my text message inbox.

_Tsukishima (Tsugaru):_

_[Hachimenroppi-sensei?]_

This little brat. He won't answer my phone call, but he'll text me five minutes later? I find myself wondering who this kid thinks he is.

_Outgoing:_

_[Tsukishima. I could've sworn I just called you.]_

I frowned as I sent the message. It was seven minutes before I received a reply.

_Tsukishima (Tsugaru):_

_[I'm sorry. I want to save Tsugaru-Nii-san's minutes. I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sorry.]_

I rolled my eyes at the double apology. What a pushover. Did he really think he had hurt my feelings? Over a phone call? Think again.

_Outgoing:_

_[Whatever. Don't care. What's up?]_

I regretted the message the moment it was sent. It sounded like I was one of his teenager buddies. Like I was fishing for a conversation- which I wasn't.

_Tsukishima (Tsugaru):_

_[I just finished dinner, sensei. ^^ And you?]_

_Outgoing: _

_[Haven't had dinner yet. What'd you have?]_

_Tsukishima (Tsugaru):_

_[Nii-san's boyfriend made miso and dango.]_

Ahh, so that Tsugaru guy is dating. A man. I file that information away in my mind with all the other useless tidbits I know.

_Outgoing:_

_[That doesn't sound like dinner. It sounds like two snacks put together.]_

_Tsukishima (Tsugaru):_

_[Maybe, but Psyche-Nii makes them well. :)]_

I stare at the last message for a small eternity before I feel ravenous smirk break out across my face. Psyche is dating Tsugaru. Psyche is having dinner with Tsukishima. Psyche is in Tsukishima's apartment. Psyche is close to this person who doesn't speak to me, whereas I am the one supposed to be mentoring me. All of this has occurred and not a single word from Psyche.

I'll kill him.

_Outgoing:_

_[Is that so? Well, I have to go. I will talk to you later.]_

_Tsukishima (Tsugaru):_

_[Okay. Bye, Hachimenroppi-sensei. Goodnight.]_


	9. Chapter 9

**_Ahem, on the subject of reviews. I'm really grateful for all of them, but I was wondering. I don't know the ediquette for this, so am I supposed to reply to reviews via pm or what? I mean, I would be delighte to send everyone a message, but I don't want to be annoying/come off as a creeper. So... Let me know about that lol._**

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><p>The next morning, I called Psyche at the ass-crack of dawn.<p>

It was Saturday so I knew the twerp would be sleeping. He picked up after three rings, "Roppi-Nii?" His usually high voice was husky with sleep, "Do you need something?"

"I know what you did last night."

Psyche was silent.

Good. He knows how much trouble he's in. "I'm coming over right now to cause you pain," I continued matter-of-factly. I was already dressed and ready to go.

"Roppi," he didn't sound playful at all; he must've known how pissed I was, "I can explain."

"Explain when I get there."

* * *

><p>When I reached his apartment, Psyche opened the door after one knock. His face was uneasy.<p>

I stalked into his home and glared deeply into his pink eyes. I could literally see him breaking down with guilt. By the time he gave into my intense gaze, his shoulders were slumped dejectedly.

I grabbed my cousin by the collar of his shirt. "Explain." I groused, my voice still gruff from waking up so early despite the fact that I was completely awake and alert.

Psyche shook me off with a huff and went to sit on his couch. I followed, but did not sit. I would be more intimidating standing.

"Where do you want me to start?" Psyche asked, refusing to look up at me.

With narrowed eyes, I leaned down so that our noses almost touched, "How about dinner with the Heiwajimas?"

My younger cousin slumped some more, "Look, Roppi. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but it wasn't your business. My dating Tsugaru is between me and him."

"And Tsukishima. You know the teenager that also lives there? And his business is my business, is it not?"

"That's not Tsuki's business!" Psyche insisted.

I deadpanned, "You ate dinner with him."

The other brunette stood and threw his hands up in exasperation, "So? I'm not fucking _him_."

We both gasped at the same time.

…

…

…

Talk about an awkward moment.

"You're fucking Tsugaru?" my voice was very small. I didn't like it.

"_Roppi!_ That's personal!"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not the one who just shouted it to the heavens."

It was Psyche's turn to roll his eyes, "Roppi, I would've told you, but Tsu-chan didn't want me to."

I couldn't stifle a grimace at the nickname 'Tsu-chan,' "Why not?"

"Tsukishima isn't the only one with issues."

Issues.

That's what the problem was? What do these issues have to do with me? And Tsukishima? "What issues?"

My cousin inhaled deeply, "I can't tell you. Call it a mixture of doctor-patient confidentiality and love."

I nearly sighed at that but then something occurred to me, "Oh... Oh God, don't tell you're Tsugaru's therapist. That's... That's just wrong."

Cue big-eyed guilty face.

"Psyche! Isn't that against doctor rules?"

The pink-eyed doppelganger pouted, "It's not like I fell in love with him on purpose."

"But you did fall in love with a whack-job!"

Psyche pouted. I glared. Impasse.

Being such I stubborn person- being surrounded by other stubborn people- I find myself in these situations often.

"Not everyone that needs therapy is insane." Psyche whispers. Since he broke the silence first, I inwardly count that as my win. "Every human being has their own degree of so-called craziness. We're more abnormal than we are nor-"

"Oh, cut the psychologist crap, Psyche. I've heard it plenty." My fists clench. I hate that speech. I hate people. And I hate people that try to rationalize other people and their wrongness. Abnormal is not normal. Normal is not abnormal. Killers are killers. Crazy is crazy. Period. I'm usually not an advocate of tautology, being that it is a useless science of stating the obvious, but I find myself referring back to it regularly in an attempt to deflect the mindless bullshit of humans trying to defend themselves.

Psyche's eyes are sad as he watches me seethe in my hateful thoughts. He touches my shoulder to get my attention. "What do you want me to do?"

I glare at him before smugly declaring, "No more dinner with the Heiwajimas. You are banned from their household if I'm not there also."

The brunettes eyes bulged, and I could tell, if he had been eating something he would've spat it out in a humorous manner. "But that's not fair! Tsuga-"

"Life's not fair. You cannot go over there until I get Tsukishima to talk to me."

Psyche no longer looked shocked, he looked more sad. He knew more than he was admitting.

"What else are you hiding from me?" I leaned in close.

He couldn't hold my gaze, "I can't tell you."

"Fine," I sneered. I hadn't not coming out on top, "But if something goes wrong it's on your ass."

I turned away from him and stomped out of his apartment.

When I was down the street on my way back to my own apartment, Psyche called. I ignored him.

Instead I sent a text to Tsukishima hoping that he had the phone and not his caretaker.

_Outgoing:_

_[Hey, Tsuki! Wanna hang out tomorrow? :)]_

My lips pursed as I sent the text. It was so not me, but something in my mind thought that doing this was spiteful towards Psyche and Tsugaru, who found it in their best interests to not tell me about their relationship. And more importantly, spiteful towards Psyche who was withholding information about Tsukishima from me.

It killed me that Psyche knew something about the red-eyed blonde that I didn't. It didn't matter that I never made the effort to get to know the kid or even be nice to him. I was Tsukishima's mentor, therefore, I should know the most about him. Psyche would probably say it was my inferiority complex acting up, but no. I didn't feel less than Psyche. I felt angry that Psyche knew anything at all. This was my job. My business. How dare that pink-eyed brat with my face say otherwise.

None of my business? Maybe it was in reality. But could I just leave things as they were? Of course not.

Being so irrational made my chest burn with anger. How I hated being human.

My phone buzzed. I took a deep breath before checking the message.

_Tsukishima (Tsugaru):_

_[Okay, sensei. What do you want to do?]_

I gritted my teeth, not really knowing what to say to that.

_Know you. That's what I want to do._


	10. Chapter 10

**_Enjoy~_**

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><p>I ended up taking him to the park.<p>

Stupid idea for two reasons:

1. There isn't really anything at the park. It's just a peaceful place with nice scenery were people can talk and maybe roll around a bit. Neither of those things were likely to happen.

2. Everyone walking around the park was a couple. So not only did the two of us get weird looks for being two guys alone together at the park; we also got stares and "awww"s because we made such a cute couple. WHICH WE DID NOT!

Tsukishima walked silently beside me. He would periodically glance at me before looking away blushing. I hope to God that he didn't think this was a date.

"Ne, Tsukishima-kun," he looked over at me, "I... Did you know Psyche was my cousin?"

His eyes widen and he stopped walking. I could see the wheels turning in his brain. I'll just take that as a no.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I was just wondering if you knew," I reassured him. But he still seemed to be worrying about it.

"Hey. How about some ice-cream?" I inwardly kicked myself immediately after asking that question. Offering him ice-cream? This really was a date. Oh, fuck me sideways.

Tsukishima smiled shyly at me before nodding. That seemed to be the adjective for most of the things he did. Shyly. He tended to keep his nose buried in his cream-colored scarf, but today I could actually see the entirety of his face. The scarf was nuzzled under his chin.

Speaking of wardrobe, who the hell dresses this kid? He was dressed like a damn... butler or a bartender or something! As icing on the freakish cake, he was wearing a little red bowtie that was just visible below his scarf.

Anyway, we left the park in search of an ice-cream cart. As we walked the streets I could see the red-eyed blond glancing into each dark alleyway we passed. I wondered it he noticed me noticing him do so.

I remembered reading about Achluophobia the night I had been told to look out for him.

It seemed like a needlessly complicated name for the fear of the dark.

I wondered if that was what made him so wary of alleys. They were pretty dark. Especially since it was fairly bright outside being early in the afternoon.

When we finally found the ice-cream cart I asked Tsukishima what kind he wanted. He pointed to the chocolate soft-serve on the menu board.

"One chocolate and one coffee, please," I told the teenage girl working the cart. I glared at her when she smiled goofily at the two of us. I had to refrain from saying something like, 'We aren't dating you putrid female.' Or something to that affect.

After a few moments of waiting, the girl handed me our ice-creams. I handed Tsukishima's to him and we turned to walk back to the park. The tall blond nodded his thanks to me. I just rolled my eyes, not bothering to comment on his silence anymore.

We were almost back to the park when we saw a little boy bawling his eyes out. On the ground between his feet was a fallen ice-cream cone. The only thing that crossed my mind was "How unfortunate," as I continued licking at my own cone.

Tsukishima was one step ahead of me. Before I could blink, he was kneeling down next the little boy handing off his ice-cream with a sweet smile. The kid immediately stopped crying and took the cone delightedly. He made to hug Tsukishima, but the blond backed away timidly, confusing the child he had given his cone to. The kid smiled anyway though and squealed out a thank you. Tsukishima nodded and made his way back over to me.

When he was next to me he gave a shaky sigh. Almost being hugged seemed to have a profound effect on him. His hands shook noticeably.

I stared at him to see if he would ask for another cone. All the while I tried not to be touched by his good deed. So he gave up his ice-cream, it wasn't like he gave up a kidney. And I wouldn't feel guilty about not giving up my own, because it was doubtful that kid would've liked coffee-flavour anyway.

When it seemed like Tsukishima wasn't gonna hint at another ice-cream cone, I gave in, "Alright you wait here. I'll get you another."

The blond seemed genuinely surprised that I would do such a thing, but he smile anyway and nodded.

I speed-walked back to the ice-cream stand. It was _not_ the same as running, because I was _not_ in a hurry to get back to my student. I just didn't feel like lolly-gagging.

When I finally got Tsukishima's replacement ice-cream cone and headed back over to him, all I could see the edge of his scarf disappearing into an alleyway maybe fifty feet away.

I stand there frozen for a moment as I try to decipher why the hell he would do such a thing. Then I completely ditch the ice-cream and sprint down there.

I'm not much of a runner, so when I finally reach the mouth of the alleyway I'm panting and doubled over.

"Tsukishima," I shout as I enter the alley, "Where the hell are you?"

I squint in the darkness. It takes a few moments before my eyes finally adjust and I can see Tsukishima curled in on himself against a wall a bit farther back. I cautiously make my way towards him. That's when I noticed the three bodies collapsed on the ground.

If that's not hella creepy, I don't know what is.

I nudge one of them with my foot and hear a pained groan. At least they're not dead.

I step over them to get to Tsukishima who is cowering against a wall with his head in his hands.

"Tsukishima," he didn't look.

"Why didn't you call for help?" no reaction.

"Why didn't you run away? Why didn't you call for me?" he removes his hands from his face and looks at me. His eyes are wide and frightened and, though I'm not sure due to the dark, it looks like he's got the beginnings of a black eye. His knuckles were bruised and there was a bit of blood on his chin.

"Well?" I continued, I didn't notice the way the blonde's shoulders seemed to hunch even more and his hands start to clench.

"Why didn't you call for help? I was worri-"

And then I black out.

It was only for a few moments I suppose.

But when I open my eyes again, I'm looking up at a wild-eyed Tsukishima who is, in turn, staring down at me.

I reach up to touch my cheek which is on fire. When my fingers touch it more pain explodes across my face. I then realize that must be from Tsukishima's fist connecting with it.

I let out a groan of over-stimulation and confusion. The noise makes the other red-eyed boy jump. Giving me once last glance, Tsukishima takes off into a run leaving me behind in a dark alley surrounded by the bodies of the other people his fists must've connected with.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Partying, partying, YEAH! *cough cough* Enjoy!**_

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><p>I laid there, drifting in and out of consciousness, for who knows how long.<p>

That punch must've knocked my brain loose; I felt nauseous and dizzy and just _bad._

My back was sore from lying on the ground, but I couldn't bring myself to move. What had just happened? Tsukishima hit me? I felt so confused.

And then my phone buzzed in my pocket.

I aimlessly groped for it. When I finally got a hold of it, I brought it up to my ear wincing as it was pressing against my bruised right cheek. I switched it to my other side and answered it.

_"Roppi-chan~!"_

Oh good lord, how I hate this man.

I let out a low growl before responding, "What the hell do you want, Izaya?"

I could hear his obnoxious laughter, _"Why so serious, Roppi-nyan~?"_

My eye twitched as I recognized the phrase from some stupid American movie or comic or whatever. He knows how one-liners like that irk me.

"Tell me what you want before I hang up!" I snapped.

_"Waaaaaah! So mean. I was just calling to check up on you. Seeing as you've finally been acquainted with the fists of a Heiwajima. I know how much that hurts."_

Wait, what? How could he know about that? It only happened a little while ago.

"What the hell, Izaya? How-"

_"You underestimate me. I'm am one hell of an informant."_

I take a deep breath to try and curb my annoyance, but then something occurs to me.

"You're behind this, aren't you?"

_"Behind what, Roppi-chan?"_ I can hear the smirk in his voice. He knows exactly what I'm talking about.

"You set this up!" My fists were clenched in anger. I wanted to wring this bastard's neck.

_"Eeeh? Why would I set up my own cousin?"_ The inflection in his voice said this was a sincere question.

"I don't know. Maybe you just want to see me in pain."

His voice came out a bit strained, _"That's... That's not true."_

There was a long pause.

"Explain this to me then."

Izaya sighed,_ "It was just an experiment. How would Tsukishima-kun act under a bit of pressure?"_

"And the results?" I didn't bother asking why he knew about Tsukishima and why he was interested. It just wasn't worth it.

I could hear papers shuffling and some clicking that sounded like a computer mouse, _"He surpassed my expectations. __**Looks like Shizu-chan isn't the only one who's unpredictable**__." _The last part was mumbled like he was talking to himself.

"Well I got a punch to the face for your troubles." I was more than a little pissed. All of this was an experiment? A joke? The other guys laid out unconscious on the ground probably didn't find it very funny.

I could hear Izaya's frown when he spoke, _"It was just a small miscalculation."_

"Oh yeah?"

_"Yes,"_ he insisted, _"You should call Psyche."_

It was my turn to frown, "No, thank you."

_"Roppi-chan~"_ he whined.

"If you're such a good informant, why don't you tell me what everyone's hiding," I deadpanned.

_"Ah! Roppi-chan? You're breaking up! Gotta go! Bye-bye-bee~"_

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Exactly what I expected to happen.

I let the arm holding my phone to drop and shut my eyes. I didn't quite feel like getting up yet.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Chapter 12~ Yayness_**

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><p>When I finally decided to get up, the sky was a depressing grey and thunder was cracking at 30 second intervals. It was a perfect reflection of my black mood and aching face.<p>

When it started to drizzle, I didn't move to find shelter.

I just walked.

And I knew where I was going too. All the way to the Heiwajima apartment to maybe yell the shit out of that... that...

Emotions that I would rather not think about welled up in my chest. They made my throat and eyes burn.

What the hell is going on? Why is everyone in the know except me?

I bought that little asshole ice-cream dammit! I deserve an explanation!

If anyone walking by had asked why my face a wet, I would've said it was from the rain that was- thankfully- just starting.

By the time I reached the apartment complex, I was soaked through. I probably looked like a drowned rat, but what did I care anyway?

I dripped rainwater into the elevator. The lady standing next to me eyed me warily. Well, forget you lady. I just wasn't in the mood.

I got off on the fourth floor and headed towards apartment 4E. I should've known that Psyche would be standing there guilty, wringing his fingers, when I got there.

When he saw me, he began to shake.

"What are you doing here?" My voice was rough. And I'm not sure if it was due to having woken only a little while ago.

"I didn't go inside. I didn't break a rule." Despite his explanation he cowered away from me. He didn't comment on the state I was in. He probably knew exactly what happen.

Beside him, leaning nonchalantly against the hallway wall was Tsugaru. His expression was blank, but there seemed to be a sort of tension radiating off of him.

Neither of them moved to go into the apartment.

I pursed my lips for a moment before pounding my fist on the door. If Tsugaru didn't like it, he could stop me. "Open this damn door!"

I could hear shuffling from the other side. That had to be Tsukishima. Who else would lurk around behind a closed door like that?

"Open it!" I shouted.

The door didn't open.

I could feel hot angry tears well in my eyes. This was so_ frustrating_. Why couldn't things just go my way?

"Roppi-nii," Psyche said softly, "You should go home. You're tired."

I turned and glared at him. He quickly shut up. Tsugaru still hadn't moved. Something about his expression made me think he was high as a kite.

I turned back to the door, " Open this damn door or... I'll... I'll hold my breath until I die."

I heard Psyche scoff behind me, but I didn't relent. I wasn't going to threaten to kick the door down. I'd break my leg. And I was feeling just a bit bratty at the moment. I had actually done such a thing to get my parents attention back in elementary school. I held my breath for so long I passed out. My mother, a nurse, didn't bother stopping me; she knew I'd pass out from lack of oxygen before I died. She loved me _oh so much._

Unlike my negligent mother, Tsukishima reacted to my threat. He cracked the door open and peeked out timidly. I took this moment to grip the door and wrench it open. The red-eyed blond jumped back.

I could see he did, in fact, have a black eye. His fingers and knuckles were raw and scraped.

Psyche and Tsugaru followed me inside and I wondered absently why the blue-eyed blond hadn't opened the door himself.

"Okay! One of you people need to tell me what's going on." I glared at Psyche, Tsugaru, and Tsukishima in turn.


	13. Chapter 13

**_*dramatic pose* Enjoy~_**

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><p>So I stood there. Dripping wet and waiting for an answer.<p>

Psyche was looking energetic- in a fearful way. He bounced on the balls of his feet- it looked like he was doing the potty dance little kids do when they don't want to say they have to go, yet they're on the verge of wetting themselves. He would give Tsugaru pitiful pleading looks every now and again.

Tsugaru seemed intent to ignore the looks. His face remained blank and he faced me head on.

Tsukishima was just... Tsukishima. Face buried in his scarf, looking like a kicked puppy.

Weirdos. All of them.

But I have a bruise forming on my cheek. This time I won't let their strangeness repel me. I want to know what's going on.

And I will get my answer.

After an extended silence I shout, "Well?" I hadn't meant it to come out that loud and abrupt. I wanted to come of cool and calm- a bit like the blue eyed blond.

"Tsugaru please," Psyche begs desperately. At this, Tsugaru actively avoids the brunette's gaze, turning to his head to look in the opposite direction.

Psyche continues to send pleading looks to no avail.

I turn my focus to Tsukishima and glare.

He goes wide-eyed and cowers away from me, taking a step back.

_**"Oh my God!"**_ hollers a frustrated voice.

Then out of a room behind Tsukishima stomps pink-eyes Delic, red-faced and jaw set, looking like he wants to break something.

"What is wrong you?" said man continues, "Tell him the truth! You... You're like Hitler! You can't erase the past! Roppi, Tsuki-"

It happened so fast I don't think I really saw it.

Somehow in less than a second, Tsugaru had managed to skirt around Psyche, Tsukishima, and I and attack Delic. It seemed physically impossible. But there was Delic, face down on the floor with Tsugaru's knee buried in his lower back. The pink eyed blond groaned in pain.

I took a step away from the two, as did Tsukishima. I hadn't imagined the blue eyed male to be capable of such violence.

But then Tsugaru leaned his weight onto Delic's back and Delic was desperately flailing and trying to get away. Through all this Tsugaru didn't say a word and his calm face didn't falter.

"AH! Stop! Mercy! Damn it!" Delic's hand scrabbled along the floor in an attempt to pull himself away.

Finally, Tsugaru relented, letting the pink eyed blond up with a warning glare.

Delic nodded and looked remorseful. He made to turn around and go back to the room he came from, but at the last moment spun around.

"Tsuki can't speak! He hasn't been able to since he was nine. Tsugaru's been keeping it a secret for-"he cut himself off when he saw Tsugaru, face reddened, raise his fist.

Surprisingly, in an uncharacteristic show of courage, Psyche grabbed his arm before he could knock Delic's block off. Tsugaru fought aggressively, trying to wrench his arm away.

Psyche looked more relieved than fearful now. Secrets simply killed him.

But wait... what?

Tsukishima can't speak? Tsukishima can't _speak_? Tsukishima_ can't_ speak?

I turned the thought over and over again, effectively tuning out what was going on with Psyche trying to keep Tsugaru from maiming Delic.

_How had I not noticed? The conclusion was so obvious. __**Too**__ obvious. The idea that Tsukishima physically __**couldn't **__speak had never crossed my mind. Not once. I had been so focused on not liking him; focused on __**hating**__ him. I had overlooked something important. But I can't be blamed, can I? Something so obvious would be expected to be stated as a fact, not hidden. What reason would I have, other Tsukishima's silence, to think he was a mute? None. But... I... _

In those moments I hated myself- more so than usual. I hated my self-centered nature. My selfishness. Always focused on me and my feelings. My hate. Had I even tried to understand Tsukishima before hating him? No. But I never have. It'd never bothered me before- never made me feel so bad, so wrong.

And why should I when the human race is so despicable?

What made Tsukishima so special as to make me feel bad about what essentially made me me?

I hadn't noticed that during my tumultuous thoughts that Tsukishima was next to me, watching me with confused and sad eyes.

My throat starts to close up. "I need to go," I croak.

And I flee. That's all it could be described as.

But as I turned to close the door, I saw Tsukishima standing there desolately; mouth agape as if he was trying to say something.

_No. This is right. You__** shouldn't**__ have anything to say to me._

And I run.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Hazzah~ This is the first chapter that is Tsukishima's POV._**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>I like to think of myself as a wind-up toy.

I get wound up in the morning when I wake up and go about my day as normal. The key in my back spins round and round and I move and I walk and I live. Yes it is a bit strange. Pay it no mind.

The key will spin and spin and, as it spins, it slows and slows and I slow and I get tired, but I don't really notice.

And then the key stops and I stop, but pay it no mind; I am a wind-up toy. Wind me up again.

Someone will eventually come along and notice my stopped-ness and wind me up again, usually in the form of a classmate tapping me on the shoulder or a teacher calling my name for attention.

Once I'm wound up, I can move and live again as the key spins and spins, because I am a wind-up toy.

The only bad thing is a real wind-up toy doesn't need to think. Doesn't need to remember things.

When my key stops my memories stop with it. And when I'm wound up again, I can't find them.

I make a bad human; I'm broken, damaged, and unwanted. But as a wind-up toy...

...

...

...

...

What was I talking about?

* * *

><p>Psyche-nii likes to smile.<p>

He smiles all the time. Like when he's sitting next to Tsugaru-nii-san. Or when he sees Tsugaru-nii-san. Or when he's cooking for Tsugaru-nii-san. Or pretty much anything that involves Tsugaru-nii-san.

He tries to make me smile. It's annoying. It bothers me. But I smile anyway. It makes him happy. And just because I'm too broken to be happy again doesn't mean Psyche-nii can't be happy. Right?

It was Psyche-nii that told me I was going to be going to school. Real school. Not the online school I had been doing my work on since... I moved away from home.

"Yeah! It'll be great! There's a teacher there, Hachimenroppi-sensei. He'll be looking after you," Psyche-nii is smiling again as he says this, "In fact, he looks kind of like me."

_Does he smile like you, too?_ I ask. But no. Not really. I only pretend that I can speak and that people can hear me.

If Psyche-nii had heard me say that, I imagine his smile would twitch.

Hachi men.

Eight faces.

It sounds like a monster. A monster with Psych-nii's face? Eight Psyche-nii faces? All smiling at me?

I could always do the tub thing again. Wait, no. That made Tsugaru-nii-san sad and then scary_, "Were you __**trying**__ to drown yourself?"_ was what he had yelled at me that time. I shook my head 'No', but I'm still not sure if I meant it.

I dreamed about an eight faced monster the night before I was supposed to start school and woke up screaming. Silently. Of course no one came to see what was wrong. So I pushed my lamp off of my nightstand. Then I hear footsteps rushing towards my room and regretted it. Did I want anyone coming to check on me? No. Not really.

Delic-nii-san appeared in my doorway. His eyes were wide and tired.

_Sorry, Delic-nii-san_, I apologize. He doesn't hear me.

I feel bad about it for the rest of the morning.


	15. Chapter 15

**_Tsukishima's POV again~ (Editied: Physics is now Chemistry)_**

* * *

><p>My first few minutes in that high school were horrible.<p>

The overweight man who was in charge of it was too close to me. Always too close. I found myself waiting for a chance to run away.

And that person walked in. Looking like Psyche-nii with red eyes and a scowl.

"So, Tsukishima-kun," the chubby principal said, "This is your mentor, Hachimenroppi-sensei. If you have any questions about anything, he's the one to talk to. Hachimenroppi-sensei?"

The Psyche-nii lookalike hadn't been paying attention. But when he jolted and shook my hand, my chest started to hurt, my heart sped up. I wanted to get away, but Hachimenroppi-sensei held on. I was taken by surprise when he finally let me go.

The rest of the day was awful. My math teacher, the excited Kida-sensei, wouldn't stop moving and touching my shoulders. My Homemaking class, which was taught by the gym teacher, Kadota Tsuppari-sensei, was just him talking about football. There was no teacher for most of Social Studies, there was a man that came and told us to read and then left. In Chemistry, the girl next to me spilled her chemicals and blamed me; I couldn't say anything to deny it.

Hachimenroppi-sensei's classes weren't much better. I didn't learn anything, because I was too busy watching him talk. He was so... eloquent. And pretty.

I fell asleep halfway through lunch, which I apparently ate by myself under a large, blossom-less, cherry blossom tree. When I woke up Kida-sensei was standing there; I couldn't recognize him at the time.

"Lunch is over, Heiwajima-kun." He looked more amused than angry.

I looked around and there was no one else nearby, "I could see you sleeping from my classroom." He pointed towards a window of a building I didn't recognize.

When I tried to think of what I had been doing before I had fallen asleep, I came up with a large, aching blank. The only thing I could place was shaking a certain sensei's hand, hearing my name called by that same sensei as he took roll, and listening to that sensei lecture on the origins of Kanji.

Kida-sensei gave me a few moments to collect myself before dragging me off to learn some Calculus.

* * *

><p>Hachimenroppi-sensei walked me home that afternoon, and I can tell he doesn't want to.<p>

He called my name suddenly, making me jump. He told me not to be afraid of him. But I don't think I am.

No. I know what it's like to feel afraid. Very well in fact.

He walked me back to Tsugaru-nii-san's apartment. I was caught off guard when Delic-nii-san jumped out at me and hugged me. He's usually at the host club he works at by that time. He was so, so, so, so close, so, so, so, so suddenly. I felt like throwing up.

But then he noticed Hachimenroppi-sensei. He introduced himself. And then he had sensei trapped against the wall.

And then I think of my papa. About the last time I was trapped against a wall like that. My head aches at the fuzzy, barely there memory. I feel so, so sick.

"That's enough Delic," I had never been so happy to hear Tsugaru-nii-san's voice.

After that, Hachimenroppi-sensei came inside and had some tea with Tsugaru-nii-san. They talked about my day at school. And then sensei excused himself and left. The moment the door closed the room seemed 10 degrees colder.

Tsugaru-nii-san got up from his seat. I knew he was going to do. When he came out of his bedroom with his pipe, my thoughts were confirmed. It wasn't often that he smoked tobacco, so I was sure this would be one of those nights when I fell asleep with the smell and taste of shisha as a lullaby.

He gave me a look that was easy to read.

_Go to bed_, his eyes said to me.

If I had a pen and paper, I might have commented on the fact that it was still very much light outside. But then again, probably not. Tsugaru-nii-san used to only smoke once every four or five months. Now he smokes every four or five days. I knew it was because me. Because I was broken and unwanted and he was expected to take care of me.

So I did as his eyes told me.

I lay down to bed at 18:15 with the sun in my eyes and my room slowly filling with mint flavoured smoke.


	16. Chapter 16

**_Tsukishima's POV~_**

* * *

><p>When I was younger, I had a mama and a papa.<p>

My mama was very pretty. She had long, milk chocolate colored hair and green, green eyes.

My papa was very tall. He looked kind of like me with his blond hair. But instead of red his eyes were a clear blue.

My papa loved my mama very much.

My mama was very frail. She had a weak immune system and crippling asthma. Sometimes, I would go into my mama and papa's bedroom to hear my mama coughing up blood into the toilet with my papa hovering over her, rubbing her back and trying to comfort her.

She was born that way. Sickly, that is. But, even so, she never coughed up blood until I was born.

Papa had asked the doctors whether or not the pregnancy had caused a hemorrhage somewhere. They said no, they couldn't find anything. My papa takes their answers with a spoonful of salt. He didn't like talking about the pregnancy or my birth. When someone would ask a question about it, his only comment was, "You know, it's a strange. Ever since Tsukishima was born, she just can't seem to get well again."

She was moderately sick for the entirety of the first five years of my life. After that she began to deteriorate. It made my papa so mad. So, so, so mad. And sad.

"I can't live without her," he said to the therapists.

"Think about your son, Heiwajima-san," they would say back to them. That always put him in a sour mood.

When the doctors finally put my mama on bed-rest when I was six-years-old is when I found out exactly what my papa was mad at.

"Come here, Tsukishima," I heard him call from the kitchen.

I got off of the couch where I had been watching TV and padded over to him, "Yes, Papa?"

I could see that he was angry. He was chopping seaweed, presumably for miso soup. He was chopping it vigorously.

"If you ever had to choose between me and your mama, who would you choose?"

My jaw fell opened. Choose between my papa and my mama? How could I? How could anyone? Why?

He glanced over his shoulder at me before looking back at the seaweed he was mangling, "Can't choose?" he chuckled, "I think your mama is the same as you. But you know, I think I could do it."

I blinked at him, confused.

"I think I choose between you and your mom."

I could only stare. Something told me not to ask the question. Who would you choose?

"Could you pass me the tofu?" There was a smirk on his face and I couldn't tell what it meant.

I handed him the white block and watched as he viciously murdered it. I backed out of the kitchen and ran to my bedroom. I huddled under the covers and snuggled with my pillow.

I wasn't sure whether I wanted him to choose me or my mama. So I decided not to think about it, because it made my head hurt. It wasn't worth thinking about anyway.

Because my papa loves me. Right? _Right._


	17. Chapter 17

_**Tsukiahima's POV once more~~~**_

* * *

><p>After that, living with him was hard.<p>

He would stare at me when I crossed a room. When I asked him a question, he would make me repeat it while he sneered at me. He didn't say goodbye when he left for work. And when my mama got sick, I couldn't see her.

I was never allowed to see my mama when she coughed. Even she, herself, would send me away.

"Go to-" cough "-bed, Tsuki. Go to-" cough, cough "-bed."

It got to the point where I didn't try to see her anymore. When I heard hacking and throwing up, I went in the opposite direction.

And we lived like that and it was okay for the longest time. Papa was always there to look after her, and, when he went to work, she would take her sleeping medicine and sleep until he returned.

I would look after myself during those times, especially during the summer when I didn't have school. I would forage for food in cabinets, because, even though Papa said he would, he never left me food anywhere I could reach it. I told myself he just forgot.

My first beating came during a summer just like that. I was seven-years-old and in the kitchen nibbling on the crackers I had managed to find.

All was quiet until I heard a coughing coming from my parent's bedroom. I knew what it was and decided not to worry; it happens all the time, even though it never seemed to happen when my papa wasn't around. Unlike usually, the coughing didn't stop after a few minutes. It escalated into sick sounding gurgling.

That gave me pause. It was unusual, but I wasn't supposed to do anything. Papa told me so.

Then I could hear shuffling and a thump. The coughing started to lessen and then stopped completely.

I tried to make myself relax. Taking the box of crackers with me, I made my way back to my bedroom and huddled under the covers.

I sat there for maybe an hour or so before I heard the front door opening.

"Honey? I came home early," Papa said. I could hear him walking through the house, "I forgot my-"

There was silence. And then running. And then soft beeping, "Hello, emergency? I need an ambulance right away." Papa then rattled off our address in a shaky voice.

I shivered. An ambulance? Oh, no.

Then there was running again. It got closer and closer. And closer.

My door opened.

I didn't come out from under my covers, but I could just make out Papa in my doorway, shoulders heaving.

"I know what you're doing," he said. His voice rough and angry. "Is this what you want? She gave birth to you, you ungrateful wretch."

He suddenly lunged for the bed, grabbing me as I was bundled up in the covers, and threw me on the ground. He stepped on me and uncovered me and yanked me up by the arm. He slapped me across the face, and, if he hadn't had a hold of me, I would've gone flying backwards.

He shoved me to the ground before kicking me in the stomach, sending me into a fit of coughing.

Then I could hear the door being kicked open.

Papa rushed out, and I could hear him frantically talking, guiding the paramedics to where my mama probably was.

My stomach hurt so bad from the kick that it barely even registered that my papa had been in my room, wailing on me, when he could've been in the room with my mama, giving her CPR or something.

And what had Papa meant? What did he think I was trying to do? Why did he hit me? I was just doing what he said. So, why?

Before I knew what was happening, Papa was at my door again looking down at me coldly. He walked over to my pained form and grabbed me, lifting me like a ragdoll.

He carried me outside and rushed to the ambulance that they were packing my mama into. He tossed me inside and got in himself, sitting next to my mama's gurney and holding her hand. He didn't look at me the whole way to the hospital. He was more focused on the paramedics giving my mama oxygen and whatever else they were doing.

The only person who was paying attention to my shaking form, a lady dressed like the other paramedics but was holding me away from the others as they worked, took one look at my face and frowned.

"Now what happened to you?" she reached out and touched my cheek. It hurt. A lot. I flinched away. "That's a hell of a bruise," she said, but made no other comments.

We eventually made it to the hospital where the doctors immediately stabilized my mama. I overheard a doctor telling Papa that if he had come a minute later, she wouldn't have made it. The doctor congratulated him on his luck and Papa gave a laugh that, I guess, was supposed to sound relieved. It was strained.

Later on, when Papa and I were left alone in Mama's hospital room as she slept, he gripped my and pulled my head up so that I was forced to look at him. He glared straight into my eyes for what seemed like hours, his eyes getting wilder by the second.

When he let me go, he shoved me back hard enough that I was thrown from the chair I had been sitting in.

He opened the door to the room and said in a normal, and slightly loud, voice, "I'm going to get some dinner."

And then, quieter, so that only I could here, he sneered, "Try to take her again and I'll kill you." He stalked off leaving me behind, stunned.

I sat there, alone except for my sleeping Mama, repeated telling myself_, He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it._

_It made sense right? He's just worried. He would never hurt me._

My hand drifted to the dark bruise on my cheek.

_Because my papa loves me. Right? __**Right.**_


	18. Chapter 18

**_Oh yeah... Slowly revving up the angst... Tsukishima's POV_**

* * *

><p>After that, Papa started to work from home.<p>

He withdrew me from school and started me with a homeschool tutor.

Even Mama's doctor appointments were taken care of at home.

We never left the house. Papa hired a personal shopper to buy and deliver groceries and anything that we needed he would order online.

Things were okay like that for a while. Papa would spend his days on his laptops and would checkup on Mama periodically. I would stay out of his way and do the work my tutor assigned to me. Papa would order takeout food and take his and Mama's into the bedroom. I would eat alone at the table. I didn't mind. Papa didn't hit me. Everything was okay.

And then one day, our doctor came over. Papa brought him into the bedroom to check up on Mama.

They were in there for four hours.

When the door to the room finally slammed open, I could hear sobbing and yelling. I sat on the staircase and watched as Papa chased the doctor out of our apartment, fists raised. The doctor got out the door and slammed it behind him.

And then a ghost floated out of my parents' room.

My stomach did a flip-flop when I realized that the ghost was not a ghost. It was my mama.

She looked tiny and frail. Her skin was pale with a tinge of green that made her look like she would be sick at any moment which she probably was. Her hair had greyed slighty and was lackluster.

I hadn't seen her since she had been taken to the hospital. That was three months before. She had looked bad then, but she had taken a turn for the worse.

She stumbled over to my Papa, who was still glaring at the door the doctor had escaped out of. When she reached him, she placed a fragile hand on his arm. He turned and, after one look into her eyes, burst into tears. He pulled her close and ran his fingers through her hair. She placed her arms gingerly around him and returned the hug.

I clutched the banister and pressed my face between the rails, listening to the words my papa whimpered.

"Two months?" His shaky voice sounded incredulous, "Two months isn't long enough. You don't have an expiration date!"

His last words were harsh and passionate. My mama's answering smile was weak.

My heart clenched. _Two months?_

After about thirty minutes of crying and gripping and each other, Papa began to lead Mama back to the room. Mama then said something that brought their sweet moment to a screeching halt.

"Let me speak to Tsukishima."

I had the urge to run down there and hug her and say_, "Yes, Mama?"_

But the dark look on Papa's face kept me away.

"He's fine. Probably sleeping. He won't understand."

"But-" my Mama started to insist. But Papa pulled her back to the room. His actions were gentle, but she was too weak to fight.

I wish he had let her talk to me.

Because she only lasted three weeks longer.

And it was all my fault.

Why? Well, because Papa told me so.

Why would he lie about that?


	19. Chapter 19

**_Thank you for all the nice comments guise. I'm glad you're enjoying this. I'm glad you guys were okay with the POV change. I was wary about doing it like that because I usually don't like that either. _**

**_But anyway. Roppi's POV_**

* * *

><p>"Woah! Sensei! What happened to your face?"<p>

The tactless exclamation made my eyebrow twitch.

_So what if it's was painfully obvious that I've been decked recently? Don't call attention to my glorious shiner, you twat!_ Or at least that's what I wanted to say to the student that thought it was appropriate to point at my face and yell.

Instead, I just waved him away. "Have a seat, Neitaro-kun."

I gave him my best I-am-not-amused face, and he did as I said.

I started the class by introducing the subject of the day: Haiku writing.

It would be a break from the usual lectures. I just wasn't in the mood to talk for an hour as these cretins stared at my black eye. And besides, this was Japanese Language. And what better language than the flowery, useless language of haikus?

I was already in a black mood due to the fact that Tsukishima hadn't yet shown up for school. Why worsen it by interacting with these children? Might as well set them to work not bothering me.

As soon as that thought occurred, Tsukishima shuffled into the classroom, avoiding eye contact with me. I hadn't spoken to him- ahem, well I've never spoken to him- since I found out that he... couldn't talk. I felt like I couldn't let this avoidance go on, but I couldn't very well reconcile with him during class.

So I just went over to him and gave him his assignment. I gave a tentative smile while he looked at me guiltily.

That how the rest of the day went: Tsukishima's guilty stare and questions about my bruised face followed me around while I tried to brush both off.

Needless to say, it was a crappy day. But it went by relatively quickly, and, soon enough, I was walking the red-eyed blond home again.

He watched the ground as we walked and had his nose buried in his scarf. Kind of like the way he did that first time I walked him home. Except this time, the tension was more palpable.

When we finally got to his apartment, he pulled a key out of his pocket and opened the door. Then he finally looked over at me.

I took this as an invitation to come inside that the blond hoped I didn't accept. I did.

Then I remembered the thing I bought the other day. I went inside and set my workbag, which was more of a duffle bag than a briefcase, down on his couch. I dug around in it as I heard the front door close. When I finally found what I was looking for, I turned to where Tsukishima was standing, sheepishly in front of the front door.

I beckoned him forward, "I got this for you. A cousin of mine, he lives in Shinjuku, says that he has a mute acquaintance that communicates this way. He says it works for her."

I held out my hands towards him. Cradled in them was a cellphone- one of those slide phones with the full keyboard.

He stared at me in awe for a long moment before shaking his head.

"I insist," I pretty much pleaded, "Don't even worry about it. I put you on my plan, but it only cost like fifteen bucks. Take it."

I took a few steps toward him and held the phone out to him again.

He took it gingerly and slid it open. He typed out a message.

_[I don't deserve it.]_

I frowned at that, "What makes you think that?"

_[I hurt you.]_ His hand shook as he showed me the message.

"Why did you do it?" I stared at him. I had wanted to know ever since it had happened.

_[I was afraid.]_

The look on his face said he still was.

"You don't have to be."

He looked at me skeptically.

"Are you sorry?"

He paused. He had a faraway expression on his face for a few moments. Then he typed.

_[Yes. I'm sorry, Hachimenroppi-sensei. Really sorry.]_

"Then I forgive you."

His eyes widened.

"Keep the phone."

_[Are you sure?]_

"I wouldn't have bought it for you if I wasn't."

_[Thank you, Hachimenroppi-sensei]_

"Call me Roppi. That's a lot to type."

He gave a small smile. At least were getting somewhere.


	20. Chapter 20

**_This is Roppi's POV as well._**

* * *

><p>The rest of the week passed, and I didn't "talk" to Tsukishima again.<p>

I never saw him using the phone, whether it be to actually text or simply communicate.

I wonder absently if he didn't like using it. Or maybe he just didn't have anything to say.

He didn't seem to be making friends- I never saw him hanging out with anyone- but that was to be expected for someone who came so late in the school year. Especially if they didn't talk.

I still walked him home every afternoon. He didn't make any attempts at conversation. Not to say that I had either.

Things were just so awkward between us.

I had forgiven him for what had happened, but that didn't make it go away. It just felt like there was nothing to say.

There was also something else between us that I just couldn't put my finger on.

I found the blond staring at me more often than not. And not with guilt this time. When his face wasn't buried in that scarf, I could see how goofy his smile was. But at the same time it was shy and knowing.

Indescribable. That's what it was.

And it made me feel weird things. Things I would never ever ever attempt to name.

So I pushed it to the back of my mind and thought of other things.

Until Friday afternoon.

That was when the phone made its appearance.

_[Sensei, we're a lot alike.]_

I stared at the characters uncomprehendingly for few moments.

When I finally thought of something to say, we were standing at his apartment door. He opened it and glanced around inside- like he was hiding something- before gesturing for me to follow him.

When I stepped into the apartment, the first thing I noticed was glass littering the floor in front of the couch I'd sat on the first time I visited. Either Tsukishima didn't notice it or he was blatantly ignoring it, because he walked right past it.

I followed him through a doorway, and then I was in, what seemed to be, Tsukishima's room.

It was extremely bare, with off-white walls, a double bed, and single nightstand. There was nothing to define it as the red-eyed blonde's room, not that I knew what his style was anyway.

He hung his bag on the doorknob and slipped his scarf off of his neck.

It was shocking really.

Finally getting to see the column of his neck and realizing there was nothing wrong with it.

I had never taken the moment to think about it, but somewhere in the back of my mind, when I found out about Tsukishima's muteness, I had imagined his neck to be horribly scarred by whatever accident had destroyed his vocal cords or something.

But no. His neck was perfect and smooth and elegant and... and I was staring and that's highly inappropriate.

Luckily, he didn't notice. I think.

I cleared my throat, "You have some glass on the floor out there."

He froze the middle of delicately folding his cream colored scarf. He didn't look at all troubled though.

He picked up the phone and typed out a message.

_[I saw. I don't think I should touch it.]_

"Why not? You're a big boy. I think you can clean up a mess without hurting yourself," I scoffed.

_[I don't remember.]_

This time, when he referred to his horrible memory, he didn't seem at all embarrassed.

"It's weird how your memory works," I said lightly. I could just feel that I was treading into strange territory. I was in Tsukishima's apartment. In Tsukishima's bedroom. And he seemed a little too calm. What had happened to his shyness?

_[I know. It'll be gone later.]_

He waved his hand towards his nightstand.

_[My lamp is missing.]_

I blinked. What a random comment.

"So?" I stifled a snort, "You think someone broke in just to steal your lamp?"

_[I used to have a picture on that wall.]_

He pointed to an empty wall. He stared at it blankly before typing again.

_[That's gone, too.]_

He was getting at something. And I should've been understanding. But I wasn't. And it made my heart beat faster. _This_ is important. I should be understanding this.

[I don't remember hitting you.]

Oh.

_Oh._

There it is. There is what I should've been getting. Should've been understanding, but the light bulb was just now flickering on. I wasn't exactly sure if I was right, though.

"Did... Did you break that glass out there?"

He blinked, surprised.

_[I don't know.]_

He sat down on his bed and a small frown fell across his face. I sat down next to him.

"You said..." I started and then paused. That frown just didn't look right on his face. "You said that we're a lot alike. What did you mean?"

_[We're both unhappy.]_

That left me speechless. Well, I was always unhappy. So relatively, to me, being _unhappy_ was like being happy. Or at least content. I never thought of myself as _unhappy_ per se. Being unhappy implied that you wanted change. And while I would be very fine with some change, I had never thought of actually _wanting _it.

No one had ever called me unhappy before.

Well, maybe Psyche had, but who cares what he says?

_[I wonder] _

He broke me out of my thoughts by holding the phone in front of my face.

_[Are you broken like me too?]_

_[Tsugaru-nii-san is. I broke him.]_

_[Psyche-nii is. Tsugaru-nii-san broke him.]_

_[Delic-nii is. His step-father broke him.]_

_[What about sensei?]_

Again I was at a loss. He was staring at me. His frown was gone and replaced by a face that could only be described as distantly serene.

I stared back at him. We stared at each other for a few minutes, not saying anything. His question, though not actually spoken, still hung in the air.

For the first time in what must've been years, I looked away first.

"I'm not." Even to myself that sounded like a lie "Why- What happened to you?"

When I looked back at him, he was still staring at me, except now he was expressionless.

The phone he had been holding up for me to see was slowly lowered to his lap. That same question was still there, mocking me.

He didn't move to type again. He reminded me of a powered-down robot. Even though he was looking straight at me, he didn't seem to be seeing anything.

After about a minute of this, I started to worry. I started to say 'Are you okay?' but another voice came from outside the room.

"Tsuki! Are you ho-?" Tsukishima jumped at the sound just as the door to his room opened. I turned to look and there stood Heiwajima Delic, doorknob in hand. "Hachimenroppi-sensei?"

The look on Delic's face had me feeling like I had been caught doing something horrible. I could feel Tsukishima stiffen next to me. I looked back at him to see him staring at me confused. His mouth was half open like he was about to say something.

"You need to go," Delic said. There was a slightly panicked note to his voice. That was the only reason I did what he said.

I stood from Tsukishima's bed and headed towards the door and Delic. I looked back, "Text me anytime."

Tsukishima was still looking at me with a confused face, but he nodded anyway.

I looked back at Delic. He was staring incredulously at the phone in Tsukishima's hand but didn't comment.

The pink-eyed blond herded me quickly to the front door.

I left the apartment and got on the elevator. When it reached ground floor, I walked through the lobby with my head down. I didn't know why, but something about the whole situation had me high on adrenaline; my hands were shaking.

The moment I was out of the building, I broke into a run.

I ran and ran and it wasn't until I was halfway home that I realized what I was running from.

My mind brought up the image of Tsugaru slamming Delic to the floor and then to Tsugaru winding up for a punch when Delic spilt the beans.

_Oh God. What am I in the middle of?_


	21. Chapter 21

**_As you may have noticed, the rating has been bumped up to M. This is due to some adult themes later on. Nothing to serious, just being careful._**

**_And to _Midnight Reader _(I can't PM you and your anon-ness :P)_:**

_How dare you correct me! lol JK. See the thing about the chemicals in Physics was that MY Physics techer was originally a Chemistry teacher so we did experiments on early release days. It never occured to me that other Physics classes wouldn't be that way. Now that you point it out, it kind of bothers me. Also, it doesn't bother me that you're a teacher. I don't think I'll give up on anime for a looooong time. But anyway... *frolicks off to go edit*_

_**So yeah, constructive criticism is always welcome. It doesn't bother me at all. And thank you for all the nice comments as well!**_

_**Ahem... Tsukishima's POV**_

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><p>My papa was unhappy.<p>

My mama's funeral came and passed. He couldn't speak. Not even for her eulogy. Someone else had to read what he wrote for him.

It was long letter. Addressed to Mama. He wrote about all of the times they'd spent together. How they'd gotten together back in high school. How she'd talked him out of committing suicide. Moving in together during college. How afraid he was when he first witnessed her having an attack. Proposing. Their marriage. Their honeymoon. The end.

I sat in the back of the church with my cousin, Delic, who was slumped in his seat, his eyes rimmed red like he had been crying and a dark bruise forming along his jaw. He didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to him. I was in mourning and he was... in the middle of something else. We were just two people who were being miserable beside each other.

I could hear some people in the pews in front of us. They only knew papa from work, so one of them whispered to another, "Doesn't he have a kid? What about that?"

"He never talks about it. Pisses him off. Just don't go there," the other person replies.

This makes me slump lower, mimicking Delic's posture.

I'm ignored for the rest of the day as people give my papa their condolences.

The only people that notice me are family members that had been passing by. They would give Delic and I concerned looks and ask 'why the long faces?' Neither of us had an answer.

Then, Delic's mother's husband comes up and grabs my cousin by the arm and sneers, "We're going home now. Say goodbye."

Delic looks over at me with pleading eyes and I want to do something because I recognize the angry/amused look that Delic's step-father has. It was the same look Papa had when he came home late at night and saw that I hadn't eaten because everything was too far out of my reach. He would complain that I should be able to take care of myself better but smirk as he'd toss some fruit at me, claiming that it was too late to cook something.

I want to do something to help Delic, but I was only seven-years-old and Delic's sixteen, and I didn't know what was going on anyway.

So I waved.

Delic looked like he was going to cry again, but he waved and let himself be pulled away. Afterwards, every time I would think back to the look on Delic's face, my stomach would clench as I imagined what he was being pulled off to.

I sat there alone until everyone else had left the funeral and Papa had gathered his things, ready to go. He walked past me out of the church without so much of a word, but I followed him anyway. He unlocked the car and got in. I got in the back seat.

All was silent as he drove us home.

We went up to our apartment; both of us had our heads down, not looking at each other.

Papa went to drop his briefcase off in his bedroom before going into the kitchen.

I went into my bedroom, expecting to be ignored. I laid there for an hour or so before my door opened. Papa was standing there with his shoulders slumped and a small frown on his face.

When he saw me notice him, he turned and left.

I guessed that was my cue to follow him. So I did.

He went into the kitchen. I could smell something sweet and salty and just... _ugh_. My mouth watered. I hadn't realized how hungry I was.

Papa had made chicken stir-fry.

He filled two bowls with mountains of noodles and chicken and vegetables.

He placed one in front of me when I sat down at our little wooden, square, kitchen table. He sat next to me with his own bowl.

We ate in silence, but it was the most comfortable silence there had been between us in a long time.

When we finished eating, neither of us moved.

Papa looked over at me sadly, "So, she's really gone, huh?"

He didn't sound angry. Only sad and tired. I was at a loss for what to say, so I just lowered my head.

When he reached for me, I had to force myself not to flinch away.

He didn't hit me.

He placed his hand on my left cheek and stroked his thumb over it. "I'm so sorry, Tsuki," he murmured breathlessly.

My throat immediately began to close up. "I'm sorry, Papa," I managed to choke out.

Tears escaped my eyes. I was overwhelmed with emotions: happiness that my papa cares about me; sadness that my mama was really, truly gone; sickness, because crying always makes me feel that way; and anger, because why had I ever been afraid of my own papa, anyway?

Papa sat there silently and let me cry. He had a sad smile on his face. After a few minutes, he pulled me from my chair and into his arms. I could feel his chest shake and hear his own ragged sobs.

We sat there holding each other for an eternity. Or at least until both of us had cried ourselves out.

When he let me go, he led me back to my bedroom and tucked me in bed. He kissed my forehead and said a gentle goodnight at my door.

I slept peacefully that night.


	22. Chapter 22

**_And another Tsukishima POV_**

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><p>The next morning, I woke feeling refreshed. Yet, still sad.<p>

My mama was dead. And she wasn't coming back.

I got out of bed, intending to go brush my teeth. As soon as I entered the hallway, I could tell something was wrong.

I forgot about going to the bathroom and, instead, started down the stairs.

At the bottom, there were large, jagged pieces of broken glass. I had to jump over them.

As I moved through the house, I noticed things were just a little bit off.

The coffee table between our couch and TV was neatly on its side. The TV was on, but the cable box was off, so the screen was black and humming lowly. All of the photos hanging on the walls were turned around so that they were facing the wall, and all of the ones that were propped up on a table were turned down.

All except one. Mama and Papa's wedding photo.

As I surveyed the living room, I began to smell something burning. I shuffled over to the kitchen to peek inside.

There was Papa standing in front of the stove, looking down at a pan of something charred, black, and unrecognizable. He didn't move to throw the ruined food away. He just stared at it with his shoulders slightly hunched.

I jumped when he spoke. "Get out of here, Tsukishima," he growled. He didn't look at me when he spoke, and I was frozen in place. Why is Papa acting so weird?

He turned to face me after a few more moments of staring into the pan, "Get_ out_ of here!"

This time I did as he said. I ran away, intending to go up the stairs and back to bed so that maybe when I got up again things would be more normal.

But I'd forgotten about the glass. I step right through it, one piece lodging itself deep into my foot. Blood splattered everywhere. But something told not to go to Papa about it.

I hopped up the stairs and hobbled into the bathroom to find a first aid kit.

It took thirty minutes to dislodge the glass and another fifteen to clean the wound, and I still wasn't sure if I did it right, but I didn't care because it hurt so bad and I just wanted to wrap it up.

I was halfway through working the gauze around my foot when I heard Papa yell, "You got_ blood_ on the _stairs_. Who exactly do you expect to clean this? This is the _last time_, Tsukishima!"

_Last time? Last time for what? Last time getting blood on the stairs? Or the last time he'll clean up after me?_

I finished wrapping my foot and hobbled back into my room.

My tutor wasn't even coming that day. We were taking a hiatus because of Mama's funeral. I could afford to go back to sleep.

But as I lay there, I just couldn't slip into unconsciousness. I pulled my blanket up to my nose. My sixth sense told me I should be afraid.

And then my door opened and I thought my heart would stop. I squinted my eyes so it looked like I was asleep. I could see Papa standing in my doorway from the corner of my eyes. I thought about the night before. What had happened to that Papa?

He stared at my "sleeping" form for a long while before skulking into my bedroom. He went to my desk and opened one of the folders that were on it. He flipped through pages of old work I had done, stroking his fingers over the words every so often. Then, he closed the folder and put both of his hands on top of the folder. He took a deep breath before pulled his hands in opposite directions, effectively tearing the folder in half.

I winced but didn't let him know I was awake.

He seemed satisfied with the folder-vandalism, because he dropped the torn pieces of paper on the floor and looking down at them contentedly before leaving.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

I didn't want to go to sleep anymore.


	23. Chapter 23

**_O HAI GUISE~~~ I'm sorry I didn't update in the past week. School has been slowly peeling the flesh off my body to the point where all of my free time has been spent sleeping. Le sigh._**

**_On a side-note, I made a poll! Coolio! Go check it out!_**

**_This is Roppi's POV~~~_**

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><p>Another night, another nightmare.<p>

_I can't see anything. _

_But I can hear voices._

_"Ne, Roppi-tan? How does it feel to be unwanted? Aha! Ahahaha!"_

_'God, Izaya. I hate you so much.'_

_"Roppi-nii! You have a problem! Let me help you!"_

_'I don't have a problem, Psyche. I'm perfectly fine. I don't even cut myself anymore. See?'_

_But when I hold up my wrists, the scars are still there. Every time. Every damn time._

_But then I can't see them anymore and I'm in my old house in Kyoto. I'm in front of my parent's bedroom and I can hear my mother inside. I open the door and go in._

_'Mama, look at what I drew today in school.'_

_"Roppi!" She looks surprised, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" She waves me away._

_I'm walking down the hall and I come to a door. It's my father's office. I open it and peek in. I see my father slumped over his desk with his head in his hands._

_'Papa, look! I drew-'_

_"Not now, Roppi!" He slams his fist on the desk, "I have some papers to take care of."_

_I back out of the office and stumble down the hallway. Now I'm in front of another door. It's my room._

_I open the door and there's no room behind it. Just blue. Blue like the sky. I step through it anyway._

_Now, I'm at my old school. It's recess time and we're at the playground._

_I'm on my knees and another kid, Narushita, is staring down at me, having just pushed me down._

_"They're getting a D-I-V-O-R-C-E! You know what that means? They're breaking up!"_

_'No, they're not!' I plead, 'They love each other!'_

_"Nuh-uh!" Narushita holds up a finger and shakes it back and forth tauntingly, "Wanna know how I know?"_

_By then, a crowd of kids are gathering around us, and Narushita is loving the attention._

_"My dad's your mom's lawyer! She's a slut! Sleeping with some other guy!" Narushita's smile gets big, "In fact, that guy might just be your real dad."_

_My eyes get big and my face gets hot and I jump to my feet. I don't know what comes over to me, because Narushita is so much bigger than me, but I lunge at him, tackle him to the ground, and pound his face into the dirt._

_Kids around us cheer, because Narushita is an asshole._

_But then, I'm in the air. Lifted off my victim and carried away by the male school nurse. It feels like he's spinning me in circles, because everything is a whirling blur._

_And then were in the nurses office and the man is wrapping my bleeding knuckles and he asks, "What happened?"_

_'It's not true! It's not! My mama loves my papa, and she would never cheat on him with another man! They aren't breaking up! I just know! I just know it! I just-'_

_And the male nurses gentle smile becomes so nervous that it looks like his face will crack in half, and I just know._

_My mama has brown hair and brown eyes. _

_A photograph materializes above our heads and floats down to hover in front of my face. It's a picture of my papa smiling. His bright green eyes sparkle and his brown hair is perfectly coiffed. His smile is wide and set into a manly square jar._

_I look past the photograph into the face of the nurse. He has dark black hair and blood red eyes. _

_Damn it. Damn it all._

_The photograph bursts into flames. The ashes fall at our feet. The nurse looks up at me apologetically. He stands and ruffles my hair, "You should go back to class."_

_I try to do as he says. I try to stand, but I'm so tired, and I feel like I'm sinking. I look down at my legs and see them slowly folding into themselves. I try to take a step, but I shatter into a million pieces._

_[I wonder... Are you broken like me too?]_

I woke with a jolt. My heart was beating out of my chest, and I was covered in a layer of sweat.

I was shaking.

How long had it been since I actually remembered one of those dreams?

I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. I needed a glass of water.

As I drank, that silent question flitted back and forth through my head.

_[Are you broken like me too?]_

Broken?

Am I broken?

I don't know. You tell me.


	24. Chapter 24

**_Okay, I do read (and enjoy) everyone's comments. But -sigh- I can't answer your questions (yet) because that would be spoilers._**

**_And also, I having the ending all worked out. It's just figuring out what order I want to put the last chapters into. Since this story isn't strictly chronological due to all the memories and whatnot._**

**_Anyway! Roppi's POV!_**

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><p>After that time I fled from Tsukishima's apartment, something changed between us.<p>

I'm not sure if it was the blank walls of Tsukishima's room or the fear in Delic's eyes, but I wanted to get the red-eyed blonde out of that place as often as possible.

The park became our sanctuary.

I didn't let him out of my sight like that other time, though.

The two of us would go out to the park and find a bench and _'talk'_.

We talked about trivial things for the longest times. For weeks, after school, we'd sit there and talk. We went every day- except for that one day where it rained; we went to a nearby coffee shop. We were there so often, it got to the point where other people that went there, to walk their dogs or exercise or whatever, knew our names.

We made an odd 'couple'. Me, with my hunched form and scowling face, and him, with his thick scarf and his phone.

We talked about everything from school, to the weather, to our favorite foods. We tried our best to avoid serious topics, but it was only a matter of times before all other topics were exhausted.

So on the third week, I told him about my family. He was enthralled by the strange dynamics and had me stop now and then to ask questions. I started off by telling him about me cousins. About Psyche, who had the perfect family; they were super boring, according to him, which made him study in the field of Psychology. My other cousin, Hibiya, had moved to Europe as soon as he turned 18 with his brother, Sakuraya, in tow. Those two were polar opposites- one was snobby and arrogant; the other was modest and generous. And then there was _fucking Izaya_, who I hated with all my being. He lived in Shinjuku, but frequented Ikebukuro for the sole purpose of bothering the shit out of this one guy, Shizuo.

The blonde made me stop there.

_[Shizuo? In Ikebukuro? That's my cousin!]_

Surprising, but it is a small world, after all.

"Oh yeah? So what's he like?"

Tsukishima paused and tilted his head.

_[I've never met him.]_

"Why not?"

_[I don't know. Everyone tries to keep me away from him. I don't think he knows I exist. His brother said he's a nice person, but nobody takes the time to understand him.]_

Sounded plausible. Lord knows that Izaya makes it his mission in life to take nice people and destroy them from the inside out under the guise of _'loving humans'_. At least I don't kid myself. I know I hate people.

I shrug. Then, I start to tell him about my immediate family.

About my mom. I told him that she was a nurse. She met my father after she graduated nursing school. My father had broken his collarbone skiing and he was placed under her care. They started dating, she got pregnant with me, they got married.

I told him about how my father was a successful business man. He'd given up modeling to provide for my mother, because he believed modeling wasn't respectable enough. I think he always regretted that.

Then, I told him about my biological father. He'd been my mother's fuck-buddy since nursing school. He got her pregnant just as she was getting in good with my 'father'. My 'father', convinced that I was his, married her. My biological father ended up being the nurse at my elementary school.

_[Wait. So your mother cheated on your father?]_

Tsukishima's brow was furrowed and he looked confused.

"The whole damn marriage. It's despicable really. It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that my mother is a horrible person."

The blonde examined his feet. He looked embarrassed, about what, I didn't know. It wasn't like he fucked my slut of a mother.

_[Where is she now?]_

I rolled my eyes, "Don't know. I haven't spoken to or seen her since my parents got divorced. They dumped me on my biological father's family. I didn't know any of them at the time. I was shoved into Psyche's household. Which is why he calls me 'Nii-san' now."

He nodded solemnly. He had a pitiful expression on his face.

I sighed. I don't get how he can be depressed for me.

"Well what about-" I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to go there. But it had to come out eventually, right? "About your family?"

He looked startled by the question, but not too upset or disturbed.

He started off by telling me about his mother.


	25. Chapter 25

**_Roppi's POV again_**

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><p><em>[My mama was nice. Really nice. She loved me a lot. But she was really really sick. And I didn't get to see her much. She died when I was 7.]<em>

Tsukishima lower his head sadly.

I tried not to feel to bad. Such is life, I always say. Bad things happen. And saying 'I'm sorry' would be stupid, because I didn't kill his mother.

"That's tough. What about your dad?"

And with my earlier hesitance forgotten, it took me a moment to realize my mistake.

Tsukishima was already closing himself off. I could hear his breathing pick up. His shoulder started to slump and he wasn't even making an effort to type. He had that lost look he had when I'd ask what'd happened to him that day in his room.

His entire being went lax, and I just couldn't let him go this time.

"Hey!" I turned toward him on the bench and gripped his arm. His whole body tensed and his eyes closed tightly. I was wary of his clenching fists. "Hey look at me! Stay here with me!"

He turned his face away. I stood up and got in front of him. I gripped his face and turned it towards me.

His eyes shot open. They were panicked. His fists started to rise and I steeled myself for a punch.

"Listen to me," I was vaguely aware of the scene we were making, but what did I care bout what those random park-goers thought about us? "You can't do this! Stop shutting me out! You'll never feel better if you keep blocking things out."

He shook his head vigorously, as if he was trying to get something out of his head.

"Stay awake! Stay here with me and talk to me!"

Psyche would probably have an aneurysm if he knew I was doing this, _'That's not how you handle a mentally disturbed person, Roppi-nii! You'll make him worse!'_

Well you know what?

my mind supplied, _Fuck Psyche and his degree._

"Talk to me, Tsukishima!"

The blonde fists shot forward, nailing me in the chest. The hit was hard enough to knock the wind out of me, but not enough to hurt. It was nowhere near as hard as that other time.

He shut his eyes again and pressed against my chest in an attempt to push me away.

I grabbed his wrists and shook him a bit. His eyes opened again and this time the were wet and cloudy.

_Okay, maybe this isn't the best place for this,_I thought, looking around. I spied an alleyway a bit down the street and pulled Tsukishima off of the bench.

When he saw where we were going, he started to flail and buck like a horse trying to throw off his rider.

I then realized how bad an idea it was to drag the blonde into an alley. So I changed tactics, pulling him into the coffee shop we'd went to one time.

The costumers and workers in the shop turned to look as I stalked by them pulling a still hyperventilating Tsukishima behind me. I ignored them all and went into the men's bathroom.

After making sure no one else was inside, I locked the door and pulled Tsukishima in close. Into a hug.

I could feel my face flush at the affectionate gesture. Tsukishima started off tense, but slowly relaxed and put his head on my shoulder. His shoulders were heaving, but I could feel him slowly relax before hugging me tight.

"Are you okay?"

He shrugged, refusing to lift his head off of my shoulder.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

There was a pause. But then he nodded.

It took a little effort to push him off of me, but I managed it. He wiped his face with the end of his scarf just as I felt how damp my shoulder was.

I pulled him so that we were side by side against the bathroom wall and slid us both down to the floor.

I winced as I avoided thought of how dirty the floor must be. This was more important, dammit!

The blonde took a few minutes to regain his bearings.

Then he told me _everything_.

And I had never felt so sick to my stomach.


	26. Chapter 26

**_This one is Tsukishima's POV_**

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><p>Every day, things got worse and worse.<p>

He would ransack my room when I wasn't in it and yell about how messy I was.

He gave me long, impossible lists of chores to do on random days when my tutor wasn't there. If I didn't finish, I went to bed without dinner.

He made me clean the bathtub with concentrated bleach. The smell was awful and sent me into a coughing fit. He ran to the bathroom an crossed his arms, watching me hack and cough.

"You sound just like your mother." His expression was dreamy for a moment before becoming serious again.

He grabbed me, still wheezing, by the arm and shoved me into the kitchen.

"Clean the kitchen too. Take out the garbage and scrub the sink."

"Yes, Papa."

I worked hard everyday for the entirety of my seventh year. It wasn't too bad though. You get used to it.

I was never truly scared for my life until my eighth birthday.

He invited a few family members- minus Tsugaru-nii-san, who was overseas with his singing career, and Shizuo, who was staying at a friend's house and hadn't be told of the get-together. That was the first time I met Kasuka-nii, who was calm and silent and really smart. He was there with his parents. Delic-nii was there with his mother- his step-father was nowhere in sight, and he actually looked happy for once. Papa invited my tutor, who really was a nice lady.

Papa made the birthday cake himself, and, in hindsight, I should have known something was strange because Papa doesn't bake. But the cake looked really nice.

Everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' and they let me cut the cake myself. Everything was going well and everyone was laughing and having fun. Delic-nii dished out ice-cream and we all sat down in the living room to watch a movie.

I don't even remember was movie it was. All I remember is that tickle in the back of my throat. The thick feeling of my tongue no matter how many times I tried to swallow it away. It was strange; it had been a long time since I'd had that feeling, and I barely recognized it.

I began to dissect the cake. There were three, maybe four layer of it. Beneath the top layer was strawberry filling. Under the second layer was caramel. And between the third and last layer was, it looked like, chocolate mousse. But then the smell hit me. Peanut butter.

_It had to be an accident, _I thought as I felt my throat close up. I could barely cough, let alone breathe.

It was Kasuka who noticed me. Hunched over in my corner of the couch. Choking.

"Call an ambulance."

Delic looked up at that. He spied my reddening face and watering eyes and shot out of his seat.

"Shit!" he cursed before running to find phone.

His mother huffed, "Watch your mo- What's wrong?"

Everyone noticed me slowly.

"He's choking," Kasuka said softly as he rubbed my back and fanned my face, trying to get me some air.

Delic's mother and my tutor were immediately on top of me, asking what they could do and trying to get me to breath, but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

And behind their backs, I could see Papa calmly leave the room.

_He must've just forgotten about my allergies. He can't be trying to... Trying to..._

By the time the ambulance got there, two or three minutes later, I was on my side. I had been puking up the entire contents of my stomach, and there were ugly rashes climbing the sides of my neck. My stomach felt like it was going to explode.

Papa was nowhere to be seen.

I don't know when I passed out, but I woke up in the hospital. Kasuka-nii was sitting by my bedside with his characteristic blank face.

"Everyone went to get lunch. They're going to bring something back for you."

I nodded gratefully and rubbed my arm. It was sore, the doctors had probably given me a steroid shot.

I sighed and lay back down. Kasuka-nii laid a hand on my shoulder. "If he does something like that again, call me." He slips a piece of paper into my hand. His face is still blank, but his eyes are aflame.

"It must've been and accident," I insist, "Papa would never try to... It had to have been a mistake." I close my eyes and try to block out all doubt. It's hard.

"Call and I'll show up." He squeezes my arm reassuringly, "And if I can't do it, Nii-san will come get you. I promise. Just call."

He was sure of himself. It didn't matter if he was only 13- going on 14- at the time. He would protect me. And that filled me with enough warmth to get through the day.


	27. Chapter 27

**_Okay. This chapter kind of made me feel bad when I wrote it :P_**

**_I looked at the poll today and the one that is coming out on top as of now is surprising to me. But I'll leave it up until I actually finish all my current fics. So I guess that could change._**

**_Tsukishima's POV_**

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><p>It was the November of my eighth year.<p>

I remember because Papa had just turned on the heater.

Papa had been acting strange all October and into November. He skulked around the apartment and gave me a wide berth.

I tried to be okay with. Tried not to think it was strange. But I found myself wondering what could possibly be next.

That day, he trailed behind me as I went about my chores. His eyes were narrowed as if he was trying to figure something out.

He stared at me through breakfast and looked down his nose at me as he took my empty plate from me. Nothing happened.

I went to the living room to watch TV before Papa decided to give me more chores. I could feel him watch me surreptitiously the entire time. It set my nerves on edge.

But nothing happened. Until lunchtime.

I ate a turkey sandwich. He watched me from his seat across the table. But this time he seemed to be moving. As if he was rising from his chair.

His movements made me move. I half stood in front of my chair and watched him watch me. We stared each other for a solid minute.

Then he shoved his chair back and lunged for me. I was ready, already darting out of the kitchen towards the stairs.

But he was taller, and I knew I wouldn't be able to make it upstairs. I opened the closet at the base of the staircase and threw myself into it. He was on it in a second, trying to turn the doorknob and force the door open and I tried to keep it from turning.

His words were gruff and mumbled in anger, "I swear if you don't open this goddamn door." He slammed his fist on the door, sending shock waves up my arms.

I didn't listen, trying my hardest to keep the door shut, but I knew I wouldn't be able to do it for much longer. He was stronger than me.

But then, he stopped struggling.

And then I heard the click.

He had locked the door.

"You stay in there then!"

I panicked. I no longer tried to keep the door shut but tried to wrench it open. It was no use.

I pounded my fists on the door and screamed, "Please! Please! Let me out!"

I could hear him chuckle from the other side.

"Papa! Papa please!" I slammed my palms against the door and begged as loud as possible.

He payed me no heed.

I could hear his muffled voice through the door. It sounded like he was on the phone, "Oh, hello, Hana-san! Yes! Tsukishima is a bit under the weather so I won't be needing your tutoring services for this week! Yes! I know! I'll contact you with further information! Thank you! Bye!"

A week... A _week_? How long was he planning to keep me there?

I threw myself against the door as a last ditch effort to get out. It was no use. I didn't have enough weight to knock anything down.

It was then that I noticed how dark it was. No light peeked into the closet, not even from under the door. It was a complete darkness. I couldn't see my hands when I put them right in front of my face. As a natural reaction, I opened my eyes wide in last ditch effort to see. It didn't work, and I was blinded. I didn't know what was going on. I was, both literally and figuratively, in the dark.

And then the heat hit me. The heater. It was on. And I was sweating. The heat was stifling, and sweat dripped down the back of my neck. I panted like a dog and scrabbled my fingers along the door, begging it to open.

I fell to my knees, feeling miserable. It was getting hotter by the second. I contemplated whether or not having a heat stroke and dying would be better than sitting in that hot, muggy, darkness. It probably would.

I don't know how long I was in there for. It could've been hours. It could've been days.

But when Papa opened the closet door, I was huddled into myself, shaking with my eyes wide open and soaked with sweat. The light on the other side of the door made me squint.

I didn't want to look up and see what face Papa was making. I didn't feel like I could walk.

I crawled out of the closet.

Papa stood in my way so that the only direction I could go was up the stairs.

I pulled myself up the stairs with my hands.

He was right behind me, breathing down my neck. He made a noise that sounded like a snicker, but I didn't want to look. He followed me up the stairs and halfway down the hallway.

The he gripped me by the back of the neck and hauled me to my feet. He pressed me against the wall and turned me around, forcing me to look at him. His eyes held no mirth, only anger.

I shivered and cowered away from him, trying to shrink back into the wall.

The first slap both took me by surprise and was expected. It was so much harder than the other time.

Then came another. And another. And another.

He rained open-handed slaps on me, both front and backhand. His knuckles left bruises on my jaw and cheeks. His palm made my face tingle.

"Don't you ever-" _Smack_. "-ever-" _Smack_. "-_ever_ run away from me again! _You hear me?_"

He gave me final back hand with his left hand. I could feel his wedding ring leave a painful welt above my left eye.

He pulled me away from the wall and slammed me back into it, "_Well?_"

I nod in answer to his question.

And just like that, he lets me go. I crumpled to the floor and watch him make his way back down the stairs without a backward glance.

My face feels swollen and I feel like dying.

It takes a while before I am able to pull myself off of the floor and crawl to the bathroom. I pull the first aid kit out from underneath the sink and stand up, ready to assess the damage.

But what I see when I look in the mirror...

Overall my face is a bright red. Obviously Papa's hits were harder than I thought, because both of my eyes are bruising and swelling. There is a dark red welt growing above my eye and there are small cuts all over my face where Papa's ring bit into my skin.

It was awful.

It was hideous.

And before I know what I'm doing, I've shattered the glass with my fist.

There was blood leaking between my fingers and if I looked down at one of the pieces of broken mirror, I knew I would see an ugly little boy with silent tears slipping down his mottled cheeks.

I kneeled down and sat, drawing my knees up to my chest.

I knew I should be wrapping my knuckles, and I knew I should be disinfecting my face.

But all I could do was cry.


	28. Chapter 28

**_This is my longest chapter to date. And it's a kind of fluffy one. This is why it's M. I don't really think it's M worthy, but I'm just being safe._**

**_Roppi's POV_**

* * *

><p>We were in my apartment.<p>

It was pouring down rain outside, and we'd rushed from the school to my apartment since it's closer than the Heiwajima residence.

I was alone. In my living room. With a soaking wet Tsukishima.

I felt like a horrible person for finding that situation arousing.

It had only been about a week and half or so since the red-eyed blonde had told me the truth about his father. I tried not to think to much about it, and Tsukishima never brought it up again.

But now we were alone again.

I bit my lip and looked over at his damp form.

He shrugged off his vest and placed it on the floor in front of the door. The white shirt underneath was transparent in its wetness, and I could see his seemingly perked nipples. Well, it was kind of cold in here; plus, he was shivering.

"I'll go find some clothes for you to change into," I offered. Before I could stop myself, I added, "You can take those clothes off."

_Damn it_, I reprimanded myself, _If that wasn't a come on, I don't know what is._

But Tsuki made no effort to reach for his phone and comment. He merely began shrugging off his shirt.

I had to turn away and run into my bedroom before I did something I regretted.

I made a beeline for my closet. Tsukishima was both taller and broader than I am, but, being the frumpy, non-fashion-obsessed guy I was, I was sure I had something to fit him.

I was able to quickly locate an old oversized black sweater- I don't remember who it belonged to, but it was so enormous it would probably be too big for Tsukishima- and some red gym shorts. I grabbed a black v-neck and some obnoxious yellow pajama pants for myself.

I went back out to my living room carrying the spoils of my search. Imagine my surprise when I was faced with a now shirtless blonde, who was staring at the bundle of wet shirt at his feet with his damp scarf clutched in his hands. He pointed at the soaking shirt before holding up his phone for me to see.

_[Sorry.]_

I could care less about the puddle the shirt was making on my floor- I had hardwood anyway. I was more focused on the sheepish apology on the boy's face... and that body.

While he wasn't very defined in the muscular department- how could he be? He didn't take gym or do sports- but he was lean. He had broad shoulders- it seemed to be hereditary in the Heiwajima family- that tapered in a perfect swimmer's V into a slim waist. His stomach, though lacking blatant definition, was flat and looked hard. His nipples were, in fact, erect, and there was a dark blush on his face that was traveling down his shoulders and onto his chest as he noticed me staring at him.

Oh... He noticed. Guess I should've stopped.

I turned my head and cleared my throat before offering the clothes to him.

"Um... You can go change in there," I had to open my bedroom door to point out the bathroom- I had an odd apartment layout- "I'll go make us some hot chocolate."

He nodded an went to go do as told.

I changed in the living room, tossing my wet clothes on the floor, and then started warming some milk on the stove and getting out a few bars of chocolate. I was looking in my cabinets for a box of cookies when I heard the sound of glass breaking and then some kind of clamoring.

I rushed out of the kitchen, through my bedroom, and into the bathroom.

My shower curtains were quivering.

I nearly stepped on a piece of glass on the floor. Only it wasn't glass. It was a piece of a mirror.

Indeed, my mirror had been smashed to pieces.

Tsukishima's phone was sitting in the sink. I had to brush a few shards of mirror off of it before I could grab it.

I cautiously stepped through the bathroom to my bathtub. I pulled the shower curtains back slowly as to not startle what I knew was inside.

The blonde had his head between his knees and his hands clasped over his head. He was wearing the clothes I gave him, so he was looking smaller then usual.

I gently stroked a hand, "Hey."

He jolted but didn't attack, so I counted that as a win for me.

I slid into the bathtub with him and ran my hands over his arms, "Your okay."

I nudged the cellphone against his hands. It took some coaxing, but I eventually got him to look up at me and take it.

I looked pointedly at the phone, telling him to speak.

He had trouble typing due to the fact that his hands were trembling.

_[I broke it]_He finally managed as he buried his nose into the scarf still wrapped snuggly around his neck.

_[I'm so sorry]_

"Why?"

_[I'm so ugly]_His shoulders heaved, and I reached over to rub his arm soothingly.

"You're not."

_[I am. I don't want to look. Ever again.]_

"Trust me. You're not," I insisted.

He glared. His red-eyes were suddenly on fire.

_[You're lying. You were just thinking that I was ugly. Weren't you?]_

Ah. That. So wrong. So, so wrong.

I couldn't hold back my chuckle. And that only made him angrier. He looked near tears.

"You're wrong. Quite the opposite, actually."

His expression became confused.

I sighed. This. This I could handle.

I took hold of his arm and pulled him up and out of the tub. I manuevered him out of the bathroom, careful to avoid renegade shards of mirror- and I remembered to turn off the light.

Pulling him over to my bed, I pushed him down into a sitting position.

I held my hand in front of his face, silently telling him to stay put, then I headed back to the kitchen.

The milk I had been heating was now overflowing from its pot and most of it was on the floor, so I trashed it and decided to warm to mugs of milk in the microwave.

I got out two mugs- red for me and blue for Tsukishima- and placed two squares of chocolate at the bottom before filling them with milk. I, then, warmed them in the microwave. I tapped my fingers on my counter, feeling a bit impatient.

Finally, with a mug of hot chocolate in each hand, I returned to my bedroom.

Tsukishima was lying on my bed in the fetal position. He didn't look afraid though. In fact, he looked like he was sleeping.

"You asleep?" I whispered, not wanting to wake him if he was.

His eyes shot opened before he scrambled into a sitting position. He started to frantically type.

_[I'm sorry!]_

I held back a sigh as I held a mug out to him.

"You don't have to apologize everything, you know?"

He gave me a look that said he wasn't so sure.

We sat next to each other at the foot of my bed- it was king-sized; oh, how I love my bed- and drank the hot chocolate. He eyed me warily as if waiting for me to attack.

After he finished, I took his mug and scooted up to the head of my bed, placing both empty mugs onto my nightstand. I beckoned him to come join me.

He did so cautiously. And when I slid down to lay on my side, he gave me a nervous look. But eventually he followed my actions.

So there we were. On our sides looking at each other. I scooted closer to the blonde and reached my hand out to run through his blonde locks. He tensed at first before eventually relaxing into it.

His eyelids lowered and he leaned into my touch. I used my other hand to tug lightly on his scarf. He opened his eyes and stared drowsily at me before nodding his assent. He lifted his head so I could pull the scarf off. I folded it carefully and then turned to place it on my nightstand as well.

With it now exposed, I leaned forward and buried my face into his neck. Once again, he tensed and then relaxed. I threw an arm over his waist, and, this time, he didn't even tense.

He did when I ran my tongue the column of his neck though, and it took a long time for him to relax after that. We'd have to work up to that.

I pulled my head and looked into his heavily lidded red eyes, "Your beautiful."

The blonde jolted and was suddenly alert. He reached around for his cellphone before finally finding it in his pocket.

_[What?]_

"You said you broke the mirror, because you thought you were ugly."

He blinked, surprised. _[When?]_

_Oh, no you don't,_ I thought, _I won't let you forget this._

I frowned, "Just now! Do you want me to show you the mirror?"

His eyes were wide, probably because of my sudden, passionate shouting.

_[I'm sorry.]_

That made me sit up, "_No!_Don't apologize! I want you to know that I think you're beautiful!"

His brows furrowed as if he meant to protest. But I beat him to it.

"Don't! You can't argue fact! Just shut up about it!"

I huffed as I plopped back down beside him, pressing in close.

His face was flushed, and he seemed to be at a loss.

I pressed our foreheads together, looking straight it his wide eyes. He looked like wanted to both look away and keep looking forever.

I closed my eyes. "I like you," I breathed softly. I hoped he could hear me.

I felt him shuffling around and knew he was reaching for that phone again. I opened my eyes and grabbed his hands, stopping his search.

"Do you like me to?" My heart clenched. I hadn't felt so vulnerable since before my parent's divorce.

But he nodded and that tight feeling exploded into something warm and goopy.

And then we were kissing. Well, I was kissing him. He had a moment of panic before he started to respond. He gasped when I pressed my tongue along the seam of his lips. I had to coax them into parting before I was able to stroke along the walls of that hot, moist cavern.

It was my turn to gasp when I felt something hard probing at my stomach.

It had never occurred to me that Tsukishima might have an actual libido. But now, facing it head on, I felt a coil tightening in my lower stomach.

But I couldn't have full-on sex with my student, now could I? I was tempted to pull a Psyche and sleep with my student the way he had slept with his patient.

I tugged the waistband of his gym shorts down, effectively freeing his half-mast erection. Then, I shoved down my pajama pants, sighing as cool air brush lightly against my man-parts. I didn't think it was possible for his face to get redder.

I wrapped my hand around his base and slowly stroked upwards. He sighed and shivered. I took a hold of his hand and pulled it towards my cock. He shyly cupped it, sending sparks of electricity up my spine. He bucked as I stroked back down to the base and gripped me more tightly.

I leaned forward and ran my tongue along his pale neck. This time he didn't tense. He whimpered. And it had to be the most adorable sound I'd heard in a long time.

It was a slow exploration. An expedition of sorts.

We stroked along each others bodies, occasionally pressing our lips together in sweet kisses.

His orgasm came first- it would've been shameful, on my part, if it hadn't. He let out soft mewls and tried to curl up, to no avail considering my body was in the way. His eyes fluttered and his hips lifted, searching for even more friction.

I was so busy watching him that my own orgasm took me by surprise, and I nearly choked on my own saliva. It was so intense, it left me gasping for air.

When I finally came down from my high, I realized that the red-eyed blonde had fallen asleep. I smiled sleepily, thinking that it wouldn't be too long before I followed, when I heard an annoying ringtone coming from outside the room.

I got up carefully, not wanting to wake the boy, and crept into my living room. I grabbed the pants I had left on the floor when I changed earlier. I switched it to vibrate, effectively shutting off the obnoxious ringtone, and brought it back to the bedroom.

I put my cellphone on my nightstand and pulled the comforter out from under Tsukishima- it took a bit of work- before sliding back into the bed and covered the both of us, pulling Tsukishima close so that his head was on my chest. When I looked down at him, I saw that the neck of the sweater was hanging off of one of the blonde's shoulders cutely.

_Well, would you look at that,_ I thought dreamily, _It is too big for him._

Then my phone started to buzz, the noise made even louder and more annoying as it vibrated against the wood of the nightstand.

I answered it and sighed, "What?"

"Umm..." It was Psyche. "Tsugaru wants to know where Tsukishima is. Please tell me he's with you. You have him right?"

I looked down at his peacefully sleeping face. "Yeah, I have him."


	29. Chapter 29

**_:D Chapter! Yay!_**

**_Tsukishima's POV_**

* * *

><p>It had been a month after I was taken from Papa's custody that they decided what to do with me.<p>

That day I was released from the hospital into Delic-nii's care. He was eighteen and he had a job and he had his own apartment. That had been the reasoning.

"Besides, it's only temporary. Only until someone more capable comes along. We'll be fine," Delic-nii had said.

But we weren't fine. Neither of us were.

It wasn't Delic-nii's fault though.

He was nice. Really nice. So nice that I become wary of him. Whenever Papa got nice, he was bound to be angry later. But no. Delic-nii was just nice.

He fed me everyday. He set up a schedule around me and my habits and my fears and my hesitance. He bought me a laptop from a second-hand shop so that I could do schoolwork when I felt like it. He even removed the mirrors from all the bathrooms when he saw how I cowered away from them. He was patient with me. He didn't get frustrated, because, for some reason, he understood that a newly mute child needed time. Or maybe it was obvious. I don't know.

But Delic-nii had his issues.

His issues were the men he brought home every other night. He would dismiss me to my room with that friendly smile before inviting men with lecherous smirks into his bedroom. Then there would be bumping and moaning and sometimes screaming. But usually the only sound I could discern as belong to Delic-nii was a gasp.

And then, late, late, late at night, the other man would leave and I would hear Delic-nii taking a shower. After that, he would come into my room, just knowing I was awake. He would smile and tell me to go to sleep. And I would try to fall, but it's hard when your thoughts are on your broken cousin being split open.

One afternoon, after a particularly loud night, as we sat at the kitchen table, and I just looked at him, he smiled sadly. For some reason he understood my silent words better than others. It might be because we were so much alike.

"I'm not a prostitute you know?" he sighed, "It's just... Old habits die hard."

And no, I didn't know, but I understood that it wasn't Delic-nii's fault.

And two weeks later, on a Saturday evening, when there was a knock on the door, Delic-nii was obviously surprised. Because when the ex-step-father you thought you'd left behind shows up at your door, what else could you be?

Delic-nii let the man in. He was ugly with his flat brown eyes and his greasy hair. He wore a haggard expression like an addict missing his fix.

That time when Delic-nii dismissed me, his friendly smile was tinged with nervousness.

But what could _I_do besides return the look and disappear into my bedroom?

Just as usually the night was with bumping, moaning, screams, and gasps. But that time the screams were Delic-nii's.

The man came every Saturday for the next month and a half. Every now and then I would hear his whisper in a disgustingly gruff voice, "I missed you."

Every Sunday after, I had to prompt Delic-nii out of bed. Nudge his shoulder in a silent command to go take a shower.

It was that time that our relationship became so symbiotic that he spent more time with than going out for anything besides working. He gave up on bringing other men home, because the one that consumed his Saturdays was more than enough.

I hadn't realized that Delic-nii had only been fractured until the night he broke.

"I can't do this anymore!" I heard him sob.

"What?" his ex-step-father groused.

Delic-nii's voice was strained, "I don't want this. No more. You have to leave."

I could heard a huff and someone was thinking loudly. I could almost hear the gears turning in their head.

"What about the kid?"

My breath caught in my throat.

"What," Delic-nii's voice was heavy and emotionless, as if he couldn't even summon incredulity.

The man laughed, "Yeah! He's old enough. You wouldn't even have to listen, considering he can't-"

_Crash._

Something glass had been broken.

And then there were footsteps approaching my door. I held my breath and shut my eyes, hoping against hope that it wasn't that hideous man coming to get me.

"It's me."

Delic-nii was standing in the doorway. He looked so tired that he might fall over.

"Come on. We're leaving," his voice was stiff and robotic.

The way he was looking, I guessed he wasn't expecting me to pack.

As we left the apartment, I pointed to Delic-nii's bedroom door.

"I didn't kill him. Let's just go."

Delic-nii didn't have a car. So we walked.

And walked and walked and walked.

And when he saw me getting tired, Delic-nii pulled me onto his back and continued walking.

We must've walked for two hours before our destination became clear. The police station.

Delic-nii carried me right up the steps and into the building. I recognized the man at the front desk as one of the ones Delic-nii used to sleep with. The man recognized Delic-nii as well. He was flushed a dark red as he handed Delic-nii the telephone he asked for.

Delic-nii quickly typed in a number and held the phone to his ear.

Then someone picked up.

_"Hello?"_

"It's Delic."

_"Can it wait until-"_

There was a shuffling and then a new voice spoke. A voice I immediately recognized as Kasuka-nii.

_"What do you need?"_Kasuka-nii droned.

"Come get him," Delic-nii pleaded.

_"Now?"_He didn't sound annoyed. It seemed like he was just making sure.

"Mom's ex showed up."

There was silence on the other end.

_"__Get in the car. I'll drive.__ We're coming."_

There was the sound of a car starting up and a tired father whining about what time it was.

"Thank you," Delic-nii sounded relieved and actually let himself smile.

_"Should I hang up?"_Kasuka-nii's actual question was 'Do you want me to stay on?'

"No, we're good," Delic-nii smiled that sad smile at me, "See you soon."

It was another hour before Kasuka-nii pulled up in front of the police station. His was driving illegally, being three years under the license limit, but nobody seemed to care. His father was asleep in the passenger's seat.

Delic-nii buckled me into the car and stood back.

Kasuka-nii didn't take his eyes off the road as he spoke, "You're coming too."

It wasn't a question but a statement of fact.

Delic-nii sighed and slid into the car next to me.

After another hour, we were in Kasuka-nii's home. His mother had warmed us up some tea. Apparently, Shizuo-nii-san was out on some kind of trip.

"Luckily," his mother said, "He would have scared poor Tsuki-chan to death."

She then told us about how she had sent word to Tsugaru-nii. Apparently he had decided to take the first flight back to Japan to fulfill his duty of taking care of me.

Whatever that was supposed to mean.


	30. Chapter 30

_**This chapter kind of got a mind of its own... So yeah. **_

_**Tsukishima's POV**_

* * *

><p>"<em>How could this have happened?<em>"

Tsugaru-nii-san was furious.

He paced back and forth across the living room. It had been two days since Delic-nii and I had been picked up from the police station by Kasuka-nii. When he received the call, Tsugaru-nii-san had abandoned his abroad tour and hopped on a plane and flew to Japan immediately. Without telling anyone.

His cellphone had been buzzing all day with his tour managers trying to call him so they could find out where the heck he was.

"Nii-san, relax," Delic-nii droned from his recliner seat before sipping his tea, "None of this is your fault."

Tsugaru-nii-san huffed, "I was gone for a few months and I get a call saying that Tsuki can't talk _and_ my younger brother has been taken advantage of by our step-father since he was _fifteen_!" His fists clenched, and he grit his teeth, "And you want me to be _calm about it_? Maybe I couldn't have helped Tsuki, but I could've at least helped you."

Delic-nii stood and put a hand on Tsugaru-nii-san's slumped shoulder.

"And it goes to show what a horrible judge of character I am," Tsugaru-nii san sighed, "I thought Tsuki's dad was a nice guy. He was my _'favorite uncle.'_"

Kasuka-nii stirred at this. He had taken to blandly observing the two brothers' conversation from his spot next to me on the couch. But now he finally had something to say.

"We all thought he was nice. No one thought he was capable of..." Kasuka-nii gave me a sideways glance, "...such things."

Tsugaru-nii-san frowned, "Well, I'll just have to find a place here. So I can protect these two."

Delic-nii's eyes widened, "Wait! What about your career? What about your tour! You can't just-"

"Do you honestly believe that I can just fly off, sing some songs, and _pretend this never happened? __**Really?**_

Delic-nii cowered away from his brother slightly but managed to hold his ground, "But you love singing..."

Tsugaru-nii-san headed for the front door and opened it.. "Well this is just more important," he sneered over his shoulder before leaving and slamming the door shut.

It only took Tsugaru-nii-san five days to find a nice apartment. Because he had connections. And he was famous. He had to wear disguises whenever he wanted to go out.

Delic-nii and I moved in with him the day after that. Leaving Kasuka-nii's house hadn't been some big event. But just before Delic-nii and I got into Tsugaru-nii-san's rented car, Kasuka-nii grabbed my arm.

I flinched visibly, but that didn't deter Kasuka-nii. He slung a soft warm scarf around my neck and ran his fingers through my hair.

"Stay safe," he said in hs characteristic deadpan voice, but his face showed concern. "If you need me, call."

I nodded in agreement.

The living arrangements didn't really work out. Especially, at first.

Tsugaru-nii-san refused to acknowledge my muteness. It wasn't that he was mean to me.

When he spoke to me he hated it when I gestured back at him. And when I reached for the pen and pad Delic-nii had bought me for the purpose of communication he always would say 'Nevermind' and flee. It was exactly like that. He ran away from me.

It got to the point where I didn't want to leave my room for fear of disappointing Tsugaru-nii-san. So I didn't.

And Delic-nii didn't like it.

"This isn't working," I heard Delic-nii grumble through my wall.

"What?" was Tsugaru-nii-san only reply.

"What?" Delic-nii questioned incredulously, "_What!_You're turning him into a recluse. You're ruining his life."

Tsugaru-nii-san scoffed, "I am? I think it's a bit late for that. And it sounds like you're accusing me of something. You think you did a better job taking care of him?"

"Well at least he smiled once or twice when he lived with me."

"You put him in danger every night because of your _issues_," Tsugaru-nii-san argued, "I know you did."

There was a bit of shuffling, and then I heard Delic-nii question softly, "My issues?"

"Yeah," Tsugaru-nii-san snarked, "Your _man_issues."

"_Fuck you!_" was Delic-nii's swift reply.

"And that's not even including the nights when you invited the man who _raped you_into your home."

Delic-nii was silent.

"Yes, Oba-san told me _everything_," Tsugaru-nii-san continued, "But you don't want to talk about that. You want to talk about _me_, right? _Is that it?_"

"_**FUCK YOU!**_"

"I obviously don't like it as much as you do," Tsugaru-nii-san counter darkly.

"You can go to hell! You weren't even here! You don't know what it's like, because you're the perfect one who got a fucking recording contract! What the hell do you know? The rest of us are over here suffering and you want to come back and tell me I'm worthless? _I know I'm worthless! So fuck you! Is this what you wanted? Us under your roof so you can delude yourself into thinking that you can fix everything? Well __**you're making it worse! You don't know what Tsuki needs! I don't know what Tsuki needs either, but at least I don't pretend like I do and chase him away! I love Tsuki! He is my cousin and my brother and my friend. But you're treating him like someone who's just being obstinate! Like he's doing this on purpose! It's not his fault that any of this happened! And just because you no longer have Tsuki walking around this house to blame and glare at, you're doing it to me! And just because I can fight back you're pulling out all the bullshit that I dont ever wanted to talk about again and trying to scare me away! **__**Well, guess fucking what? You don't scare me!**_" his words were just barely understandable, because he was blubbering.

There was a pregnant pause before Tsugaru-nii-san spoke again softly.

"That's all well and good Delic, but you forget that _you_ were the one that came to _**me**_, telling _**me**_ that _I_was ruining everything. Not the other way around."

There was an angry shuffling.

"You make me hate you so much."

"Your jealousy is unbecoming."

"Just... Fuck you."

There was stomping and the front door opened and slammed. I wasn't sure which one fled, but I knew neither of them had won.

I got up and opened my door.

I walked out into the apartment. Delic-nii was sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. He looked up in surprise when he heard me shuffling around.

"Ah, crap. You heard all of that?"

I nodded. _How could I not?_

Delic-nii sighed, "I'm sorry, Tsuki."

I went over to him and patted his shoulder.

_I'm sorry Delic-nii. I know this is hard._

He smiled his sad smile and stood up from the table, "Well, we should both get to bed. Do you want me to tuck you in or something?"

I shook my head 'no' and pointed to the kitchen.

He nodded his understanding, "Goodnight." He went into his bedroom.

I went into the kitchen. It was a modern kitchen with all the appliances anyone could ever need.

I looked over the rack of kitchen knives. _No, it would make them sad._

I walked over to the knives and pulled one out of it's slot. _But it would make their lives so much easier afterward._

At first, I had thought that thay were my thoughts. But that voice. It didn't sound like me at all.

I dropped the knife on the counter and left the kitchen. I went into the bathroom. I looked over at the tarp covered mirror- Delic-nii had remembered my issue with them.

_No, not in here. Nothing in here._

I left the bathroom and went into my bedroom.

There was a glass vase with flowers in it on my nightstand. It was from my time in the hospital.

_Get rid of it._

I walked over to my nightstand and knocked the vase off of it. As it fell to the floor I felt my mind scream. _**Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, I'm sorrysorrysorrysorry!**_

My eyes widened and I jumped back as the glass shattered.

_It's good._

I don't remember after that. Actually, I don't remember much of that at all.

I woke up sometime later. I hadn't remembered falling asleep, but somehow I had made it into bed. And it obviously wasn't morning, judging by the darkness.

I was woken by the creaking of a door opening and closing. Then my bedroom door opened and someone came inside. I stiffened and feigned sleep.

The person walked over to my bedroom and sat down next to me. They ran their fingers through my hair. They smelled pungent, like oil and herbs and something indescribable.

"Tsuki, I'm so sorry."

It was Tsugaru-nii-san. He was sobbing quietly and his words were slurred, like he was completely out of it.

"Delic was right and I'm so sorry."

He was high.

"So fucking sorry. They always said I looked like him. Like your dad. Well, I act like him too. And I don't want that. You don't need that. I'm so sorry."

I sat up. He didn't seem surprised at all. He didn't even seem to notice.

I rolled tiredly out of bed and pulled on his arm. He let me pull him to stand as he continued to sob out apologies.

I led him into his own bedroom and put him to bed. I tucked him in and stood back.

I turned to leave and just as I was out of the door Tsugaru-nii-san whispered distantly one last time, "I'm so sorry."

I closed his door behind me.


	31. Chapter 31

**_This takes place a few days after the pseudo-sexy tiems. Just if anyone wants to know._**

**_Roppi's POV_**

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><p>It was Monday and I woke up late.<p>

I actually remembered waking up earlier and turning off my alarm.

It was 12:30. _Crap._

I rolled out of bed and got dressed. There was no point in rushing, because I was plenty late already.

When I finally got to the school, it was about 13:45.

I sighed and headed to the teacher's lounge. It was empty. Which was strange because there was usually at least one teacher in there at all times.

I exited the lounge only to be nailed head on by... something and fell to the floor.

And that something was the school nurse, Ryuugamine Tengoku. He was red- probably from running- and flustered.

"Roppi-sensei! Oh thank God you're here!" He got off of me and helped me up.

"What's wrong Tengoku-san," I questioned blithely. What could possibly be wrong? Tengoku overreacted with everything.

"Tsukishima-kun attacked Linda- I mean Kida-sensei!"

"We- Wait! What?" That got my attention.

"Come on!" Tengoku took off running and I was right beside him.

They were in the nurse's office.

Tsukishima was hiding under one of the beds, sobbing. Linda was in a chair, calmly sipping a cup of hot tea.

It was pretty surreal.

Psyche was there chattering and hovering between Tsukishima and Linda.

"Are you okay, Linda? Tsuki, please don't cry. We'll figure this out, I promise." Blah. Blah. Blah.

I stomped my foot to get everyone's attention.

"What the hell happened?"

Upon hearing my voice, Tsukishima's crying ceased.

I looked at the people in the room. Tengoku was hovering around Linda, whispering things to him. Tsuppari-sensei was also there, standing next the the bed Tsukishima was hiding under. And Psyche was staring at me like a deer in the headlights.

Tsuppari stepped forward. "I'm not sure exactly was happened. But Tsukishima was sleeping next to that one tree- which is pretty normal- then Linda went over to him and started saying something- I don't know what, but Linda was holding a paper. Then Tsukishima shot up and tackled him. By the time I ran over there to stop him, Tsukishima was strangling Linda, and Linda had almost passed out. So I tackled the kid, and he fought me a bit. Then he started crying and screaming-which was weird, because I've never heard the him make a sound before- and then he fell asleep."

Tsuppari looked a bit bewildered by the end of his story.

I looked to Linda, "What happened?"

Linda took another sip of tea before handing the cup to Tengoku. "I went over their to congratulate Tsuki on his grade. He got a perfect score on his test," he spoke slowly and his voice was thick and raspy, "But when I said his name to wake him up he jumped up and lunged at me. He looked scared. But by the time he got his hands around my neck, he just looked angry. Luckily, Tsuppari-kun came and saved me."

I nodded. So there was only one more story I needed.

I walked over to Tsuppari and kneeled so I could see Tsukishima's hunched form.

"Hey," I whispered to him. His back had been facing me, but he turned to looked at me. His eyes were wide and watery. "Come on. We need to talk."

He stiffened fearfully before nodding.

He crawled out from under the bed and followed me out of the room, cssting a regretful glance at Linda as he passed.

As soon as the door closed behind us, he was typing a message.

_[I'm sorry]_

[I'm so sorry]

[I didn't mean to]

His fingers were frantic, but I put my hand over his to stop him.

"What happened?"

He sniffed and typed slowly.

_[He's coming to get me.]_


	32. Chapter 32

**_Oh my gosh guise! This fic is almost over! Can you believe it? This is the longest thing I've ever written!_**

**_Y'all make some really good observations (TOO GOOD) to the point where answering/ confirming things will be spoilertastic (HOW DARE YOU NOTICE THINGS! lol...)_**

**_This is Tsukishima's POV :D_**

* * *

><p>I woke up to the door slamming.<p>

I rolled out of bed and pulled my school uniform on. It would be time for school soon anyway.

Wrapping my scarf round my neck and slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I left my bedroom. Tsugaru-nii-san was at the kitchen table. His head was buried in his hands. Caught between his face and left hand was a folded up piece of paper. It looked like a letter.

Tsugaru-nii-san looked up when he heard me leave my room. His eyes were guilty.

"Tsuki. I tried. I'm so sorry," he sounded breathless. It made my heart sink into my stomach. I padded over to him and took the letter from him. It was a bit of a struggle- Tsugaru-nii-san held it like he never wanted to let go.

It was, in fact, a letter. It was a letter from the Tsugaru-nii-san lawyer. A request.

It was a request for testimony. My testimony. At an upcoming court date. Next month. To my father's third retrial.

...

I could barely read the tentatively worded request before I was in the kitchen. At the sink. Shoving the piece of paper down the drain as far as it would go.

I turned on the garbage disposal and listened to it crumple. A few little pieces of paper were propelled from the drain.

Tsugaru-nii-san was behind me. He grabbed my arms and tried to pull me away. Out of the kitchen and away from all the weapons it contained.

But I didn't want him touching me, so I shoved him off. I pushed harder than I had meant to, but, honestly, I couldn't bring myself to care.

I stalked towards the front door, just barely remembering to shove my feet into my shoes before I was out of the door and gone, slamming the door behind me.

* * *

><p>Roppi-san wasn't there.<p>

Not in his office. Not in his classroom.

Nowhere.

When the substitute entered my homeroom class, telling about how Roppi-sensei was inexplicably late and he didn't know when he'd get in, I felt about ready to die. Or kill. I don't remember which.

The man avoided me, as did the rest of the class. I wondered if I really seemed that out of sorts today. Did I seem different than usual? Angrier? Sadder? Deader?

The class couldn't have ended fast enough. Or the next one. Or the next one.

Lunch finally came, and I had to get away.

I needed Roppi-san. And no one else.

I ended up wandering to that tree that I fell asleep under pretty much every other lunch.

I plopped down next to it and leaned my head back against the trunk. I let out a sigh that sounded more like a sob and closed my eyes.

He was there. His blue eyes hard and cold.

I remembered a time back when Mama was alive.

I had been walking by their bedroom door when I heard them talking.

_"His eyes are just like hers," he'd said._

"Whose?" Mama questioned.

"My sister's," was his reply. He was referring to the aunt that was also Delic-nii's mother.

"So?" Mama prompted.

"Well, demons have red eyes. My sister has red eyes. Bad news. Just look at the guy she married," he'd said, as if it was common sense.

_Mama huffed, "I hate it when you say that. Even though she doesn't make the best decisions, she's your sister. And Tsukishima is your __**son**__. Besides, that doesn't even make sense."_

"She's going to hell," he mumbled.

"HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?"

He chuckled, "You didn't grow up with her."

I heard shuffling.

"I'm kidding," he said apologetically.

There was a bit more shuffling.

Then a soft murmur, "I don't know about the kid though."

I shivered at the memory.

His voice had sounded so dark at that time.

I opened my eyes for a moment to force myself back into the present. Then, I closed them again and willed away any more thoughts of him.

It worked for the most part. And it wasn't long before I fell asleep.

I dreamed of him.

_He was in a courtroom._

He plead not guilty.

Every time. Not guilty.

I sat behind him. Alone in the gallery.

He was facing away from me. I could see the back of his head. But he was still watching. Observing me.

He could see every move I made and I knew he was sneering was disgust. But only with his second face.

The face he showed the judge was pleasant.

"Not guilty," he said lightly.

I looked away from the back of his head. He made me nervous.

I tried to look at the front of the courtroom.

But he was the judge too. Judging me with a tilted head.

"Has the jury reached a decision?"

The judge looks towards the jury. I follow his gaze.

He is the jury too. Twelve men with the same face. A smirk.

"Not guilty."

And then the courtroom is gone and he's in front of me.

"What did you think would happen?" he asks.

_**I can't speak. You did this to me.**__  
><em>_  
>"And you didn't deserve it?"<em>

_**Did I?**_

"I don't know. Did you? For killing your own mother?"

_**I didn't.**_

"Didn't you?"

He's laughing at me.

And laughing and laughing and-

"Tsuki-kun! I'm so excited! You did a great job!"

And then I was on top of him.

And choking him. Anything to stop his laughing.

But he doesn't stop. Not matter how hard I squeeze. He laughs and laughs and-

Then he changed. And it wasn't him anymore.

It was... Sensei?

And then I was on the ground.

I screamed. I screamed and tried to get away.

_I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Sensei!_I scream. But he couldn't hear me. No one can hear me.

There was someone on top of me. Holding me down. Making me sick. It was Tsuppari-sensei.

He was talking to me, but I couldn't hear him, because I was crying and screaming and I couldn't stop.

_Roppi-san. I need you._

Tsuppari-sensei yelled something to someone, and then Tengoku Ryuugamine-sensei was running towards us, flailing his arms. He slid next to the coughing Linda-sensei and spoke lowly and urgently to him. He helped Linda-sensei up and they walked toward the school building.

When they were gone, Tsuppari-sensei yanked me to my feet and pulled me toward the building. I couldn't make myself walk.

Tsuppari-sensei spoke to me. It might have been a question, but I couldn't hear him, because I was still crying.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and half lifted me off of the ground. I squirmed, because that is way too much touching, but I eventually gave up, because I was still crying and I couldn't focus.

So I let him carry me.

But all I could think about was how the only thing that could make this better was Roppi-san.


	33. Chapter 33

_**I... Uh... Yeah. Sorry?**_

_**Tsukishima's POV**_

* * *

><p>Tengoku-sensei helped Linda-sensei stumble into the nurse's office.<p>

Tsuppari-sensei had to drag me.

I didn't want to be trapped in a room with three teachers, one of which I had just...

I needed to get away.

But once he got me into the office, Tsuppari-sensei blocked the door, crossing his arms in front of his chest defensively.

I wasn't about to fight my way around him. So I did the next best thing.

Hid under one of the nurse's beds.

Tengoku-sensei began begging, loudly, for me to come out and speak to them.

I didn't want to. I wanted Roppi-san and no one else.

Once he saw that nothing he could do or say would get me to come out, Tengoku-sensei turned his attention completely to Linda-sensei. He fluttered around the blond man like a frightened, flustered bird.

Linda-sensei sat on a chair catching his breath, but he didn't seem particularly hurt. He smiled tiredly when Tengoku-sensei brought him a cup of tea. Linda-sensei may have seemed okay, but that didn't change what I had done. How I had attacked. How I would have kept squeezing until he...

As I was focused on the interaction between the two men, I didn't notice Tsuppari-sensei approaching the bed I was under.

It was too sudden. The way he leaned down and shot his hand out for me. He gripped the scarf around my neck and pulled.

I gave a shriek so loud that I hadn't thought I would ever be capable of such a noise.

He was so close. And I was so trapped. And I had hurt sensei, and I just felt awful... Awful...

I couldn't stop the tears from falling. The best I could do was stifle the wails that wanted to work their way out of my throat, and keep them to low choked sobs.

Tsuppari-sensei flinched away and stood when I began to fall apart.

Tengoku-sensei felt the need to make things better.

"Tsukishima-kun. Kida-sensei is okay," he cooed, kneeling down to see me better. I leaned away from him.

Looking dejected, Tengoku-sensei sighed and stood.

"Tsuppari-sensei, I'm going to see if I can find Psyche-san," Tengoku-sensei decided.

I frowned. _It's not Psyche-nii I want. He can't make anything better._

But of course, no one could hear me.

Tengoku-sensei clattered out of the room.


	34. Chapter 34

**_Roppi's POV_**

* * *

><p>"He?"<p>

The tall blond stiffened as if he wished he hadn't spoken— well typed.

_[I'm just sorry. It's unforgivable. Sorry]_

I couldn't swallow the frown breaking across my face. "Enough of that. Who's he?"

Tsukishima tensed, his jaw clenched taut and lips parted as if he was trying to keep words from flying out of his mouth.

_[Papa.]_

That was when my eyebrows met the ceiling.

"Your father," my voice was dull even to my own ears, my mind racing to decide what to do with this new information. "What does he want?"

I couldn't help but think that if Tsuki's mouth pinched any more, it would disappear; I then realized that that was some twisted irony considering that he doesn't speak. Is that even what irony means? I'm an Literature teacher and I don't know how to properly diagnose irony, someone call Life Aler—

_[I have to go to court again.]_

The blonde's reply snapped me out of my reverie. "Again?"

The boy nods, his eyes downcast. I reach out and lightly tap him on the chin, "What happened with Linda?"

He lifts his eyes to meet mine timidly, his fingers working the keyboard of his phone comfortably.

_[I don't remember.]_

I tried not to sound as exasperated as I was, "Tsuki…"

_[I try. I do]_

"I believe you."

_[I hurt him.]_

My lips purse of their own accord as my hand reaches out to brush a few stray strands of hair out of Tsukishima's face. His eyes narrow in a barely noticeable flinch. "Let's go."

His eyes widen, surprise making the tension in his face slacken.

_[Go?]_

"Yes," I turn and start to head down the hall towards the school's exit, "We can go talk and get something to eat."

_[But Linda-sensei]_

"Is fine." My hand is already pressing the door open. "Are you coming?"


End file.
